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Review:CambAngst says:
Hi, Alli! Merry Christmas -- a day late, I'm afraid :-/ -- and thank you! Thank you for all that you do as our Head of House!

I loved the way that you mixed a bit of biochemistry into this story. It's something that not everybody could do, let alone do it without the references sounding horribly out of place. Here, especially since Snape is a potions master, it flowed really nicely with the broader picture. You described his death in a gripping and very realistic way. It added a great deal to the tension of the piece.

The analogy of the muggle filmstrip was a really good choice. It allowed you to start with a memory that sort of morphed into a framework for everything that was happening inside Severus's dying brain. All of the memories you picked seemed really appropriate to Snape. They were all instances where Lily seemed to gravitate to him in spite of himself. To him, they must have seemed like proof of how she really felt about him, whether or not she was choosing to act upon those feelings.

Then you capped it off with two amazing and poignant moments from Deathly Hallows. Those were the perfect touches to end a story like this one.

Your writing was beautiful here. Everything flowed perfectly from the start to the end, and nothing felt awkward or out of place. The pacing was good, the descriptions were vivid and intense and there were no mistakes anywhere that I could see. Great job!

Author's Response: Hi Dan,

Merry Christmas to you as well! I'm really glad you enjoyed the more scientific-based descriptions in the beginning about the venom. Adding those descriptions of Snape's death felt a bit more off-beat and interesting to start a story with, especially since that's something that Snape would have been thinking about.

I'm happy you liked the filmstrip analogy. As you mentioned it really allowed me to make the flow between reality and the memories a bit more smooth which is something I really struggled with after including so many memories. I like how you mentioned Snape choosing those memories as proof of Lily's feelings, because the memories are definitely a one-sided portrayal of the events. While these memories were incredibly important to Snape, they could have been completely unimportant exchanges to Lily.

The two canon moments at the end are some of my favorites, and I couldn't leave them out in a one-shot about Snape. They're such essential pieces to Snape's story, and they were both the main inspirations for this one-shot. Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

Alli


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