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Review:teh tarik says:
Oh my goodness, Zayne! :( :( This was such a fabulous oneshot! I think you did a wonderful job with the prompt; I haven't read all the other Duel entries yet, but I have come across a few, and your story really has that darker, bleaker edge to it. You pulled off Hannah's situation really convincingly, and I admire the detail you went into to convey her emotional and psychological state. Clearly, she's suffering some sort of post-traumatic stress, which really wouldn't be surprising, given the horrific nature of the war. One line in your story particularly stood out to me: The remembrance would suck out her soul even more fully then any Dementor. I've always thought of the concept of remembrance as something grave and filled with solemnity, something like dignified pain, of learning to live with what has happened, and memorialising the past. But here in your story, remembrance is almost destructive (at least that's how I interpreted that sentence in context with the rest of the fic); it's life-draining, it traps Hannah in this horrible stasis where she is perpetually haunted by the ghosts that she refuses to let go of, by a kind of survivor's guilt. So much so that she has to let that one relationship go, probably the only meaningful thing in her life right now. I felt so sad for Ernie, and I really do hope that the two will arrive at some sort of understanding, that perhaps, just perhaps, many years down the road there's a chance of them reconciling. Maybe as friends, if not something more.

I'm really interested in how much she thinks of this Wayne; I do wonder if she and him ever had a relationship in the past? Maybe before her sixth year, when she began dating Ernie? Or they could just be really great friends, I dunno. Still, I think it's great how her thoughts rest quite a fair bit on Wayne; it makes her sense of loss so much more real. I also love what you've done with Ernie in the fic: how resigned he is, how haunted he is by the past, especially his torture at the hands of Death Eaters. He's filled with this kind of emptiness that Hannah sees, and possibly he sees the same in her, and they take comfort in each other, thinking that they've been through the same. But their relationship isn't exactly a healthy one. They do seem to be sucked into each other's hollowness, so I guess it's quite inevitable that their relationship end in order for Hannah to achieve some sort of liberation. I do hope Ernie recovers :(

I love the ending segment of your story, the countdown to the new year. It really fit the prompt for the Duel, and it really gave this escalating sense to your fic, that inevitability of the ending, even though your story is quite open-ended, which I love. And I think the use of circular structure worked really well, and at the same time, I do feel that that final second, that momentous one, - for me it signifies a sort of casting away of that whole circle, that cycle of death and grief and pain and of the once-beautiful and now unattainable past, and that everything has been wiped clean. But this is probably just me, I dunno? I really do like a hopeful ending. :)

Anyway, this was an absolutely fantastic oneshot, Zayne, and a real pleasure to read! I'm so glad I got the chance! Merry Christmas, lovely, and have a really great one! :D ♥

teh

Author's Response: Hey teh!

Thank you so much for taking the time and reading this! I'm so very pleased you've enjoyed the read and felt something while you were reading it. I was obsessed with the idea with remembrance with this prompt because I always find myself so much more introspective around this time as I remember my past years and I find myself even yearning for something that's already passed, Usually, it has a lovely tinge to it, as you've mentioned. There is sort of a nostalgic feel to remembrance, but I can also see how that same thing that makes me happy to be introspective and think and yearn and how that can turn into someone's worst nightmare. So i think the word is a double edged sword, it can be great, but there is another edge to it that is quite destructive it it pulls you in and you forget how to live and enjoy the present. You really hit it spot one when you were chatting about it. It's pulled her into a status where there isn't much else to focus on and the only thing that meant something to her (Ernie) is causing these memories to be stronger and more poignant.

Wayne- in my mind they never had a relationship, the three of them just ended up being really good mates. (actually, in my mind, all the hufflepuff's were really good friends). I had her focus the most on him though as I think people would focus the most on people close to them. The memories they have of those people have become the only thing they have left and I think with Hannah, those memories have sucked her in. Which is why she focuses even more on him (and others)

Even with all that, i like that you found the hope. I wanted this to end with that even though her life in the last while has been a destructive cycle of remembrance that there is something else, that all one needs is to breath and count and perhaps things could get better. It goes along with the prompt for me in that she's realized she needs to shed off the past, let it slide passed her to get anywhere else. I do agree with you that the end is circular and it's about hope and casting things away. Though she still has far to go, this is a small step.

I'm really pleased you stopped by and read this! I'm so sorry that you've had to wait so long for this response!


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