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Review:Hogwarts27 says:
Hi! I was happy to find another chapter of this story on your page. I've been checking for one since I read your first chapter. I enjoyed this chapter as well.

There are only 3 constructive crits I have. have which are all very minor, nothing bad at all. 1) The chapter struck me as a little slow moving early on just because of the writing style you've chosen with everything so focused on Wallburga's own thoughts. 2) I agree with one of your other reviewers that a little more description of the surroundings would be nice. 3) I was craving a little more dialogue from all the characters once Wallburga's friends came onto the scene.

Overall, the storytelling was good, and I'm very interested in your story premise. You did describe the castle very vividly - I loved that passage, and you did an excellent job describing the characters so that I could see them in my mind's eye.

The story portrays Wallburga with the exact opposite personality of how we see her portrait in Cannon, so I can only wonder if she's going to have a dramatic character change. That would be marvelously interesting. At the moment Wallburga's school friends seem as nice as she is. They're not the typical snobby intolerant purebloods that Slytherins are usually portrayed as being. Which is refreshing to see, because in Canon, Slughorn implies that most Slytherins are pretty good folks and that it's only a few bad apples that always spoil the barrel. But then, in Deathly Hallows, McGonagall has Filch take all of Slytherin house to the dungeon, and we get the feeling that they all deserve it. So the books seem to contradict themselves there.

But back to your story - Abraxas and his crowd were just what was needed to give this chapter a hint of greater conflict to come. The castle has eyes. Ooh, I absolutely love that line. It hints of ominous things to come. And I, for one, hope they will be very ominous! I'll be keeping an eye out for more of the story.

Author's Response: Wow, thanks for the lovely review! I'll fix everything you pointed out, and like I said to the others who pointed out the lack of description, I'll be adding that in!

I'm so thrilled that you like this story, and that you're keeping an eye on it *blushes* I'm so touched! One of my first real followers on the story. EEP!

Thanks!

-Janelle


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