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Review:Aphoride says:
Hey there - so sorry about the long wait before this, RL pulled me away for a while, but I'm here now (finally!).

So, I really liked this! I loved that you write Victoire as nervous and standing on her own on the platform, looking around at everything, feeling a little overwhelmed and out of place. It's such a nice thing to see, since most people write a lot of the Next Gen kids as very confident, and not all of them would be, you know? So yeah, I like your Victoire, I think she's lovely. I love how she's so fascinated by the new professor, and curious about how her mum saved his life - it's the kind of thing everyone would want to know about their parent. I also like how shy she is, particularly at the beginning, and aware of how people are looking at her - it makes sense, having two parents who are war heroes and being related to the golden trio, you know? And of course it's going to be overwhelming and strange for a shy, young girl.

I love that you're including Roger Davies as well - I really like as a character, and think it's a such a shame not that much is written about him. I'm so looking forward to see what you do with him/how you characterise him/etc :)

I did notice, however, that you have quite a few problems with commas, spelling and grammar at times. If you don't have one, maybe it would be good idea for you to get a beta to help with that? It really makes everything so much clearer to you - I've had one before, and it was so helpful! :)

Your flow and pace is lovely, though - just spot on for this - and this was a good length for a prologue/first chapter with not all that much action in, to sort of set the scene, you know. I really liked this! It's such a good story and I'm so curious about where you're going to do this in the future and what you're going to do with it!

Please feel free to re-request! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: If you are interested I have another story with Roger and Fleur. It is a role-play of mine put into story form. I am thinking of tying the two together with Roger retelling Victorie the story.

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