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Review:CambAngst says:
Hi, Lauren! I didn't want to miss you while I was making my big push toward 900 reviews!

You started a novel! Awesome! I was hoping you'd take the plunge someday.

So Next Gen romance... not usually the genre I go for. But I can already see some things that are setting your story apart from the mainstream. If Lily and Hugo are in their last year of school, it means that most of the Weasley-Potter clan will have graduated already. That leaves the playing field wide open for you to build a cast of true original characters, and you seem to be taking advantage already. Ivy seems like a solid female lead. She's obviously got a lot going for her, being Head Girl and all. At the same time, she's coming into the new year with some apparent baggage. Seemingly something to do with Albus and a drunken party of some sort. Will be interesting to see what that's all about.

I also get the sense that Ivy's a muggle-born, or at least that her mother is a muggle. That adds more potential for interesting developments and strange situations. Your characters all seem to have complicated lives, which is a good thing. So far, I don't see any Mary Sues lurking...

I liked that you didn't shy away from giving the familiar canon characters a bit of a role in this, and I'm interested to see what sort of appearance Neville makes once the group arrives at school. I really love Next Gen stories that manage to integrate the canon characters and make use of them, even if they aren't the central focus of the story.

Seems like Ivy would love to become a Potter by marriage, but her two chances are otherwise involved. I'm you told me to guess, I'd say that Albus's love life will become a focus of the story. If that's to be the case, I'm very intrigued as to how you'll make it happen. He'll need some reason to hang around Hogwarts.

Leaving aside the characters and their quirks, I like how you're pacing the story so far. I felt like I learned just enough in this chapter. You didn't blast me with mountains of back story and you didn't try to jam every major plot point into it. I have suspicions as to what might happen, but I'm just going to have to keep reading in order to find out. Nicely done!

I only saw one thing that might be a typo:

After much whining though, her parents had finally agreed that she could stop with the Potters the night before and go on the train with the other kids instead. -- "agreed that she could stay with the Potters"? Or maybe this is just a British phrasing that I'm unfamiliar with. It looked odd to me, so it seemed safer to point it out.

Very good start! I shall return...

Author's Response: Hi Dan!

Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving such a lovely review!

So yeah... I've been planning this for almost a year so it's kind of terrifying to start posting it!

Yeah, I've not seen so many Lily stories but I think she would be a really fun character to write about and so far she is. The rest of the Potter/Weasley clan will make appearances but yeah, this will focus on Lily and her friends mainly.

Ivy is a Muggle born, you're right. And Dan, you've just made my day saying (at least so far ;) ) there's no Mary Sues!

Harry and Ginny were absolutely terrifying to write because I wanted them to sound like themselves... just older. It took me a long time to write that section! Neville will definitely be making an appearance too so I just hope I do him justice too.

Hmm... Ivy isn't too bothered about relationships at the minute. She's quite focused on school. But yes, both Potter boys are otherwise involved.

Now you've pointed that out, I'm not sure if it's a British thing or a regional thing. I know I do say it, but it might not necessarily be correct. Thank you - I will change it.

Dan, thank you so much for a lovely review. I really appreciate it more than anything.

Lauren :)


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