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Review:FredWeasleyIsMyKing says:
Hey there!

Here for the review swap :)

Wow this was very different kind of story! I was really shocked when I read the beginning... It wasn't anything like I expected. You kept a really good sense of mystery throughout, giving us only the bear minimum of information which I really loved, it definitely got my interest!

I thought you did a great job with the description. Particularly at the beginning when she is chained up! This in itself leads to many questions though. We got that she was a muggle born so that must be why she was captured, she must have some use though otherwise she would be dead. You revealed part of that at the end but as such a cliff hanger anyone would have to be crazy not to want to read on!

As for a little CC, nothing major but you get a little fixated on words and repeat them quite a lot. Ugly I noticed was used often as an example. It might be worth trying to change a few?

Great chapter though, you've really set the scene for a thrilling story! The whole thing had a nice flow about it making it easy to read, I look forward to reading more in the future!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hi there!

I'm glad you like the fact that it is a little bit different because sometimes it feels like the due to it's plot being a little unorthodox, people may feel a little confused and discouraged to read on.

I'm also very happy that you like the description since I remember ripping my hair out over it :p I do realize that the mystery around the chapter may be discouraging to most but it's good that you saw that as a cliff hanger and wanted to read more :)

What's more, I am always open to CC and I do realize that repeating words is a big problem of mine. I will try my hardest to take that in consideration when I write more!

Thank you for the lovely review,

Bella


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