Hey Milominderbinder I'm here with my review for the challenge :D
Wow, this was a cool read! I think you have done a great job with the narration of it, you have portrayed Regulus in a way that reflects not just one side of him, but a rainbow of emotions. I think with such a character that we only know the small dark side we are introduced to through Sirius that this is a great reflection of how many sides a human has, even one that is twisted by a dark path.
I also really like how you made the story a letter. Like he says, it is supposed to be a letter to Mary but of course she's deceased, so it's almost more of a letter to himself in a more detached way, like a recast back on his life. Not really something reviewy this bit, but it was really well set up and i had to comment on that.
You have used some really effective short sentences as well, which helps bring emotion to the story, I especially love "it's all like one of your move-eys. With you the star. Just like you always wanted." For some reason, that hit me hard, it was so bittersweet :D In such a story, these type of sentences were vital to keep the emotion flowing, and I think you have done really well in keeping the emotion flowing thoroughly.
The only CC I have is something that could be ignored completely, because it is great as is, just something that could give a bit more detail. That is perhaps having some talk focused more on what they did together. Like, when the were in the RoR, what did they get up to? Did that talk or play games etc?
The second little suggestion would be divulging more into why Mary was so upset with life. What happened between her and Regulus, and what was Regulus' look on it? Maybe that's why he decided to become a Death Eater? Who knows, I'm not the author hehe :P
Overall though, I did thoroughly enjoy this! It was well written and engaging, and was great to see what you did with Regulus, I really think you made him an interesting character to read :D Thank you for entering my challenge and I wish you the best of luck for the results :D
Author's Response: Hi Grace! I had so much fun writing for this challenge, so thanks so much for setting it!
I really wanted to try and show a different side of Regulus here. Everyone seems to forget that he was only around sixteen/seventeen when he joined the Death Eaters, which is really just so young, and I wanted to try and show his youth and emotional vulnerability here. I have a pretty strong headcanon about Regulus' character and it includes him actually being very sensitive - it was nice to finally get that down onto the page!
I don't really know where the inspiration to have it a letter came from, but I'm glad you liked it :) I felt like it was just a much more interesting medium to work with, especially since it gave such a direct link to Regulus' emotions.
I get what you mean about adding more detail to their lives together. I'm not really sure, but I think that for Regulus, at this stage, those memories might be a little too painful which is why he focuses a lot more on the version of Mary inside his head rather than his true memories of her.
I think part of why Regulus is so hurt is that he didn't KNOW why Mary was so depressed, or even that she was so depressed that she would go as far to kill herself. So he's just confused and doesn't know how to react, and there's nobody he can talk to because nobody knows they were together, which makes it all the harder. I think it's definitely part of the reason he joined the Death Eaters - he was just looking for somewhere to belong, after Mary's death.
I'm so glad you liked it! Like I say, I had a lot of fun writing for this challenge :) I'll look out for the results!