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Review:CambAngst says:
Hello, again! Told you I'd be back soon. :)

I think you're doing an awesome job of maintaining an air of mystery and risk around this new adventure that Scorpius has embarked upon. You didn't drop any obvious hints in this chapter as to Ophelia's motivations or the essence of what she truly is. She claims to be a Ravenclaw in his year, but he obviously doesn't recognize her. Perhaps she's a "lost" classmate that he doesn't remember. Maybe she drowned in the lake and became a ghost? Maybe she's a vampire who started school with him before being turned. Maybe she's none of the above. It's fun to think about it and speculate, though.

What seemed pretty clear is that her idea of what's good for Scorpius does not resemble what Madam Pomfrey's. Or Rose's, for that matter. But back to Rose in a moment. The scene where Ophelia convinces him to go into the lake had a good feel to it. It was well-paced and the way you set it up from the beginning put just enough of an unconventional spin on Scorpius's mental state that it didn't seem all that strange to see him listening to this strange girl who convinces him to almost freeze himself to death. He's in such a odd mood: isolated and vulnerable. You took something that could have come off as very contrived and you were able to make it sound sensible in context. Cheers!

Lastly, there's Rose. So far, everything in the story has had more of a formal, high-society sort of feel to it. Musty libraries and old leather books and pureblood teenagers reinforcing their pecking orders. The language of Scorpius's thoughts isn't all that colloquial, which makes perfect sense in the context of his upbringing. Rose is an immediate and shocking contrast. She's brash and loud and rough around the edges. She doesn't talk like a pureblood. I love what you've done with her so far and we've barely seen her.

Excellent second chapter! I'm still very intrigued. This one is going into my faves...

Author's Response: Hey again!

Thank you so much. I really shouldn't respond to so many reviews at once, because I feel like I'm repeating myself over and over again. Clearly I have a limited imagination. Sigh.

ANYWAY I'm so happy you think I'm doing a goof job an maintaining the mystery - that comment really made me smile. And I love your theories of what Ophelia actually is!

I really enjoyed writing the lake scene, and I'm glad you didn't think it was too rushed, because I'm sure a lot of people wouldn't decide to go and jump in a freezing cold lake with a complete stranger! But Scorpius has been so alienated that he doens't always make the nest decisions.

I loved writing Rose because, like you said, she's so different from the rest of the 'cast'. And I always imagined her to be a loud 'rough' sort of person, who says what she thinks.

Thank you so much!


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