Sorry, I had to go out between this review and the last one, but I'll continue on now.
I really like the interaction between Barty and Sirius at the beginning of the chapter, along with Regulus, they are some my favourite characters in the series. Their interaction really highlights the difference that I talked about in my last review. Barty is this sort of cheeky, mischievous, trouble-making character that reflects the way Sirius is usually written, while Sirius becomes, well for lack of a better word, serious. I like how you showed the diversity between them. I also really enjoyed Barty trying to trick Sirius into confessing. I didn't actually realise it until I thought about it just now, but you've written it in a way that makes me begin to question whether Sirius did it. I think that's the making of a great murder mystery.
I like how you've got them teaming up- it's not really something you ever suspect to happen. They're on such different sides and have different personalities and goals etc. but I kind of feel like they're doing it to protect Regulus. I feel like they're both a bit protective of me. Or maybe it's Barty covering his prints? (I personally don't think he has a motive, but you never really know, do you?) I think your characterisation of Sirius is just brilliant in this chapter- I like how you've given him depth and shown that he didn't always entirely hate his family.
The plot is still working really well in this chapter. I still think the pacing is good- what makes a murder mystery so good is that sometimes it being a lit bit slower adds to the suspense and the mystery of it all. Basically, I think your safe continuing at this pace. You slip in little hints and teasers really well- even things that probably won't come to anything later on, have me wondering and questioning everyone. That's done perfectly!
P.S. Sorry if some of the wording seems a bit strange, I had to get creative because of the 12+ review thing.
Author's Response: Hey there again - nice to see you back again! :) No worries about it taking a bit of time - I'm the slowest reviewer in the world, so you're pretty quick to me! ;)
I'm so glad you like Barty and Sirius and Regulus, as I do kinda love all three of them and interactions between them are so much fun to write - particularly Regulus and Sirius! Barty is sort of cheeky and mischievous, but a lot more odd and sinister than Sirius is, I think. But yeah, Sirius is pretty serious in this ;) He did sort of try and make him confess - though the only reason for him to think so is because he's a Gryffindor, you know? Ooh, Sirius did it! Curious... ;) Good idea!
They're not quite teaming up as such, just Barty is kinda bored and knows Sirius is bored, so... well, yeah. Mm... why would they need to protect Regulus? ;) But yeah, they are both sort of protective of him - at least, Sirius definitely is more protective of him than he pretends to be! It could be Barty, though I couldn't possibly say... :P Thank you so much for that! I know I write Sirius differently to other people, but I thought it through before I started this so I'm so glad you like my Sirius! :)
Gah, thank you! I'm glad you don't think it's too slow - I'm always worried it is since I know I write a lot of description!
Thank you so so much for the review - and don't worry about the wording! It all made perfect sense! :)