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Review:CambAngst says:
HI, Roxi!

It seems like burning the candle at both ends is really taking its toll on Tonks. And it's definitely sad to see her so at odds with her mother. At the same time, I can totally see where Andromeda is coming from. I can't imagine how much it must have hurt her to be banished from the family that she grew up in, and I'm sure that Bellatrix was a strong proponent of kicking her out. The sense of betrayal, especially for a proud daughter of an old family, had to be terrible. It's no wonder Andromeda doesn't even want to discuss it.

I like the way that you're building up your justifications for what Tonks is about to do. The nightmares and the physical effects of the trauma she suffered while fighting her aunt seem to put her in a state where she's desperate for some sort of closure. In her mind, understanding more about the monster will help with that. Maybe she's right, although it feels like a dangerous path to pursue.

I liked your descriptions of Mr. Atkins. He added just a bit of levity to an otherwise very heavy chapter.

I think my main suggestion for you would be to expand and enhance the section where Tonks is reading Bellatrix's file. Bellatrix is a terrifying, dangerous, violent and unstable person. I felt like you mostly passed on an opportunity to draw out a lot of things by showing some of her terrible deeds and exploring Tonks's reaction to them.

I'm really curious to see how Moody reacts to finding her reading the file. He might commend her for trying to understand their target better or he might see through her and wonder why she's developed the sudden fascination with her mad aunt.

Overall, this was well written. I didn't see any typos or grammatical problems. Nice job!

Author's Response: Hey Dan! You are so very lovely for reviewing my chapters. I cherish your thoughts very very much :)

I am trying my best to portray the conflict between mother and daughter as accurately and human as possible, because there is no 'who's right or wrong' here. As the writer, I am able to be a part of both Tonks and Andromeda's perspective and it's indeed a very sad situation they're both in. I can empathize with Tonks because all of her life she has been raised in a family where truth, honesty and family love has been above anything else. And to all of a sudden lose all of this, I find it very confusing. Her value system is upside down at the moment, which is where Bella will come in, you'll see ;)

I love your suggestion. It's definitely something that I'm going to add because I never realized what a missed opportunity it was to show more on Bella until you pointed it out to me. It would be the perfect groundwork for their inevitable upcoming meeting.

All I can say at this point is that Moody will see right through her ;)

Thanks so much for the review! I feel privileged to have you read my story every time *hug*


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