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Review:milominderbinder says:
Kiana! Hi, I'm here with your prize review from the Sylvia Plath challenge :D

I absolutely loved the format of this. The way it was broken up into sections worked so well. It gave it a sweetness in a way, these little snapshots into a life with a lot of other moments in it.

I loved your use of circular narrative, ending the first and last sections with the same line about fading into oblivion. I am a HUGE fan of circular writing because I feel like it always makes a story seem more significant somehow. Here especially that common line helps link all the disjointed sections together, making it flow and connect to itself, which is lovely.

I loved their first kiss. It was so innocent and sweet and just a little awkward, so it was very realistic.

I've never thought much about Remus and Lily as a ship before - I like Lily/James too much - but here you have TOTALLY sold me on them. Straight away I was rooting for Remus, and it broke my heart at the end. But I could see the tough spot Lily was in here, too. So I couldn't hate her too much (even if I did hate her a little at the end!).

This is extremely poignant from Remus' POV and I love his narration. But I think it would also be fascinating to see this from Lily's POV - she thinks she's falling for Remus, and then all of a sudden she really DOES fall for James, and she knows what she has with James is real and lasting and he's the one, but she still has love for Remus, so she doesn't want to hurt him... tough spot :( It's precisely because of that I think this is so heartbreaking! Because there's no clear villain and there's no good solution. It's just real life, and it ends in hurt.

Well done, this was a complex and layered story that was beautiful to read, and ended in breaking my heart!

~Maia

Author's Response: Hey Maia! That was really quick :D

I'm so glad that you liked the format because it was very different from my flowing style but a lot more fun than that so I think I may adopt it as my own :P

Circles are my favourite shape so if I can link them into a story, it makes me happy :P I'm glad that you liked the theme of Into Oblivion because it really applies a lot to Marauders stories, especially these two because it does leave you wonder whether if the stars and fate had been different would they have survived?

Yay for first kisses, they always are like that so I really wanted to show it here!

I never really had either until I stumbled on a one-shot about them on the archives which inspired me to write this. I really love angst, Remus and ruining Remus's life so pairing him with Lily allows me to do all those things with ease :P

I'm really glad that you liked his POV and I totally see what you mean about Lily. I just wanted to write her in a negative light for once because I get fed up with these Mary-Sue portrayals and I was really worried it might come out like that if we had her POV so I steered clear of it. It would be really interesting to see it from hers though!

Thanks for an awesome review and challenge!

-Kiana


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