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Review:MidnightBlue_x says:
Hi, this is ElysiumJayne from the forums here to fill your review request! I completely forgot to mention it, but I usually review three chapters at a time- I'll just review the first one for you now but if you'd like to do the others then either post in my review thread or send me a PM and I'll be more than happy to. Anyway, let's get started.

The first thing I noticed about the chapter was the little folk song you included. I don't if that's actually a song or if you wrote it, but I think it adds to the feel of the chapter really well. You were concerned about the descriptions in the chapter- Personally, I loved them. From the very first word I was drawn in. I just love the language you used to describe everything- I could picture everything in my mind as you described it. I think that's a very rare thing in fics nowadays. I liked the background you gave, I thought that was very interesting and very detailed too.

I loved how some of the names were familiar, like Pettigrew, Bones and Peverell. I think having that connection to characters that J.K created means that they are easier to connect to because there is that sense of familiarity even if it only stems from a name. I loved how you described the Peverell's and what led them to Hamlin. I love Marigold, Blind Johnny and Trip- especially the part about Trip's magical powers and how he always 'knew'. That sort of feeling is what I imagine some muggle-borns would feel, so I thought that was captured brilliantly. I'd be interested to learn more about these three in particular.

I also really liked the plot, especially how it's sort of the reversed story from the books. The muggles getting rid of the wizards instead of the other way around- it's all very exciting! The transition into the building of Hogwarts was amazing. It's not something I've ever read before, but I really enjoyed how you described it. I especially liked how it wasn't just about the founders of Hogwarts, but also included their families- that was incredibly interesting to me.

I think that this is a marvelous first chapter. For me, it really reads like a classic legend of the time and I think that your ability to do that is amazing. To put it quite simply, I love this story already and I think it really has the potential to be absolutely brilliant. I think the language and the tone you've used fits perfectly and I really like how the whole chapters flows together.

I hope this review helped you in some way, and feel free to re-request if you'd like the next two chapters done (I do technically owe you those!).

x Ely

Author's Response: Hi there! :)

Wow, thank you so much for this really thoughtful and detailed review! That's so nice of you to offer to do the next ones- I feel a little guilty requesting some of these chapters since they're so long, but I'd love your opinion on the other chapters and the flow of the story if you don't mind! :D

I'm glad you liked the song- I wrote it as a sort of preface to the story and all the chapters have a little song like that at the beginning. :) It's really great to hear you liked the descriptions and that they helped bring the story to life for you as they did for me while writing it. One of my favourite parts of the story was constructing the idea of Hamlin with the background information, so I'm very pleased that came across as important and believable and didn't seem to drag on too much.

Yes! I thought it was important to make some references to canon to make sure the story was tied in and relatable for readers. I'm quite interested in writing/reading historical fan-fiction so that aspect is really important. Ah I'm so glad you liked the OCs, and the Peverells especially: Marigold is one of my favourite OCs I've created. :) The story definitely goes on to tell more about these three characters are their fates, and how they are intertwined with Hogwarts. I figured that Muggleborns would be an interesting and confusing enigma for wizards and that the confusion and prejudice would be very deep-seated this far back in time.

Ah yes! The conflicts between the wizards and muggles were inspired from historical records of suspicion and hatred towards witches, and how in medieval times a town like Hamlin where they co-exist would be very unusual. I love learning and thinking about the Founders' families as well, and I'm so pleased you enjoyed those details. :)

Thank you! Getting feedback about this chapter in particular - the others move more towards plot and narrative - feels like a legend is really amazing praise. I'm so happy you liked the story. Thank you for this incredible review, it was so thoughtful and helpful and a real joy to receive. I'll be sure to re-request as I would love your opinions on the next chapter. :)


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