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Review:MidnightBlue_x says:
Hi, this is ElysiumJayne from the forums with your review. I forgot to mention that I'll review the first three chapters of the story for your one request, and then if you'd like to re-request for the others then you can.

I haven't really read many Next Gen fics in my time, but this is definitely my favourite so far. I adore Ellie as the main character. I think she's wonderful. I especially liked the line 'with about as much haughtiness a five-year-old in her nightie could muster' - that was brilliant. I think you introduce Ellie's gift really well, it was nice seeing it from the beginning rather than it just being a given in a story. I think the fact that you showed it through a child's point of view made it even more interesting, especially because she didn't completely understand what was going on. I liked how you explained these ghosts- the whole gift of seeing ghosts could be a bit silly in the HP world, since everyone can do it, but having these people 'stuck' gave it a nice touch. But more than it, it made it interesting- I wanted to know about these ghosts and what this gift would mean for Ellie.

I loved the relationship between Ellie and Chris, both in childhood and when they were older. I think one of my favourite things was how things between them didn't change because of Ellie's gift or because of their mother's death. With their mother, I think it was good that she died of something different. I get how that might sound horrible, but it was different to having her die of the flu rather than the usual murder thing. I adored the bit about 'The Finnish Fiasco'- that was just perfect in my opinion. I liked how Ellie and Albus don't really get along- and she knows why, but she still questions it. I thought that was very well done- instead of having her just mindlessly hate him, she sort of sits on the fence sometimes. I think that's something different to a lot of fics. Back on to Chris- I love how they had different 'gifts'. Ellie's might be seeing ghosts, but she wishes she had the gift of music like her brother- I thought that was very realistic. I especially liked how there wasn't that resentment between them despite everything they would have gone through.

I thought you wrote Rose wonderfully. I absolutely adored their friendship- it's very realistic and it reminds of my best friend. I liked how Ellie was very sarcastic with her, but ultimately she let herself be manipulated by Rose. The Cake sense thing- brilliant. I loved how 'mystic' Madame Cassandra was supposed to be and how Ellie wasn't buying any of it. I can't help but wonder if the name Cassandra was a reference to the seer related to Trelawney? I'm totally Rose- I can't wait for this mysterious love :P

All in all, I thought the characters were very well done and it flowed really well. As for the writing style, you asked whether I thought you were trying too hard. Honestly, I think your writing style really suits the story. You're not trying to make sound too intelligent or mysterious, it just flows really nicely and fits the premise of the story very well. The only thing I would suggest is fixing the spacing in a few places and the only sort of typo I saw was- ThankFlamel.

I have to warn you that my next two reviews probably won't be as long (maybe they will?). I hope this review helped you though and I shall see you in the next one.
x Ely

Author's Response: Wowee! What an incredibly detailed review! Thank you so much!

I'm glad you like Ellie. As a reader, the thing I look for most in a story is a character to whom I can connect. I wanted Ellie to be that way - that is EXACTLY why I gave her special ghost-seeing powers, because obviously everyone can do that. (-end sarcasm-) I try and be funny but I'm really not, am I?

I loved writing Ellie's dad. He's so wonderfully scatter-brained for the saddest of reasons. And yeah, I was a bit sick of death by other human being, so I tried a popular one from the history books. Nothing more pesky than disease! I also love Chris. The two of them are quite different, but in a way that sort of makes them the same. And concerning Albus - I try and show her as being at least a little aware of her relationships. She values critical thought, and that means evaluating the real reason behind her... relationship with Albus.

Rose is actually the best. She's so bubbly and fun and so completely different from Ellie. I don't think she has a sarcastic bone in her body. And I loved writing her love for Divination! Madame Cassandra references the seer from the story of Troy who was legit but no one believed her because some angry Greek god cursed her!

I'm so happy that you think the writing style suits the story! I'm not sure how it will fare when the action picks up, but we'll see! Thanks so much for this fantabulous review!


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