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Review:Violet Gryfindor says:
This is a fascinating study of Peter, and you especially capture his conflicting, often contradictory, thoughts and emotions. There's still a part of him that wants to do good, be the knight and save the day, and yet he's also able to recognize - in a very mature, cynical way - that neither side is truly good. Both sides of the war are flawed, even corrupt, and his desperate need to survive at any cost, leads him to this choice. What I really like is that your narration doesn't judge Peter - you simply present his thoughts and leave it up to the reader to decide, which is very important when writing about Peter. It's easy for people to brush him aside as weak or cowardly, when really he's struggling with very human problems, and it's hard to say for certain whether any of us would make the same choice. There are very few Sirius Blacks in the world, but there are many Peters.

I'm also interested in the cynicism that you write into Peter's character. It suits him, and I think it gives him strength - he doesn't sound like a coward or silly rat in this story at all. Rather there's something else beneath the surface that drives him, but I can't put a name to it. While such cynicism makes Remus quiet and retiring, it makes Peter darker, bitter and without hope - he's been drained of feeling and empathy, crushing the last vestiges of his childhood dreams. I can see how this state of mind would lead Peter to the Death Eaters. But where did it come from? Was it always part of him, or did it occur after Eleanor's death, or is it a product of the war, years of darkness and fear that have driven him to prize survival above all else? Your story has left me thinking, and I love that. ^_^

There were a couple of grammatical things I noticed while reading - there's one that I've found again. "The man he pledged allegiance, the one to whom hed been passing information on to for months now was looking at him" - it should be "the man to whom he pledged allegiance.

This was an excellent one-shot to read. You've done a great job with Peter's characterization as well as with the overall style of this story. Not that it's a surprise - your stories are always a pleasure to read. ^_^

Author's Response: Hi,

Thank you so much for choosing this story to review! Peter is always an interesting character. Someone i've tried to wrap my head around a few times. I'm somewhat happy with how this thing turned out. I've always felt like it would have been hard, the beginnings of his betrayal. He would have had to go through a lot of different emotions and I don't think he would have fully wanted to bend down to Voldemort at first. There is still that boy in him, he still has a sliver of innocence that he wishes he could still be. But through various circumstances, he's become cynical. I remember reading in the books how the Order was quite disorganized during the first war and how so many people had either let Voldemort rise to power, or joined him for survival sakes. There was less of a goal for Voldemort the first time round other than cleansing the wizarding world. Harry came later in the project. So, I think it could turn anyone cynical if they'd seen enough.

I also wanted to explore a Peter that was strong once, that was a friend, and who the others would have trusted. Not just some chubby boy who followed them around. I wanted to capture him before his actions led to his friends death. At this point, he doesn't even imagine that is where he'll go. I'm really pleased you felt like there wasn't judgement to him with this. I wanted to find that medium where he was just a person trying to get through life and trying not to die. As you say, there is very few Sirius Black's about and I think most would turn the other way if there was enough pressure.

I love how this has you questioning! I think there are a variety of things that have brought Peter to this point, where his bitterness and cynicism has taken the humanity out of him (at least, when we meet him in the books). He doesn't seem human there, just cowardly and scared. But perhaps when he let go of his boyish dreams, slowly saw the fading of the light and the deaths, and how there was this struggle that kept going downhill it drove Peter to a point where he didn't have the hope. He became dark. Why did he turn this way when Remus turned into a quiet and retired individual? There are so many could be answers to those questions, it all depends on their own growth and how they interpret the events in their life. Perhaps Peter's crush hope made him believe in the darkness. Or someone's specific death? A lot of that though, i think, comes down to the individual reader to figure out. I love when people start asking questions because I feel like my jobs been done :) I don't always like answering all the questions, even if i have my own idea of who exactly made all this happen.

Thank you for pointing those grammar things out. i'll have to go back and try to smooth it out :) Thanks for your review, it was very insightful =)

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