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Review:SilentConfession says:
Hi, so, i'm really sorry how late this review is. I took a bit of a long break with requested reviews and i'm only now trying to get myself back into it. So, i'm really sorry for the long wait!

Right, first off, i love that you've chosen Marlene. Minor characters are absolutely fabulous to work with and I love how you've explored such a poignant moment in her life. You've made her come alive as she seems really emotionally distraught at the moment. I like how this captures how the war has completely taken away everything that she knew about herself. Her hope is gone, her desire for something better has been ripped away and it seems like all she sees is darkness. You've explored that theme really well as I feel like there is a lot of lovely imagery here that really hooks the reader into her emotional state. I love stories like this. The first couple paragraphs were you strongest in this, imagery wise. You could really just feel her and see this bleakness that she's facing. How could anything ever get better when so much is going wrong?

I also liked the contrast of that Marlene to the one in Hogwarts. It really helped us see how much was taken from her and how much she was forced to change. It really brought the story home for me because it makes you realize that everything in her life had been altered.

You asked about length and I think that this specific one-shot could have been longer. I have a few unanswered questions and although sometimes having unanswered questions can be really good, i felt like the unanswered questions i had made this piece seem unfinished. For example, there was a little blurb about Regulus. I felt like if you explored that a little more it could tie things up more, why did he confide in her? What did he confide in her? How had she lost her courage to tell anyone he was betraying Voldemort? There was also a little bit of confusion for me when you were talking of Regulus' death. It almost seemed like you were talking of Sirius' death at the Department of Mysteries? Anyway, that bit could use some cleaning up as Marlene would have been dead well before Sirius died.

Grammatically too this could use some work. The first couple sentence had some comma issues, and that was scattered throughout the piece as well. Your piece is quite poetic and I think that if some of the grammar bits were fixed you'd have a really strong and beautiful piece of work. It already is quite good, but another look over would help with the flow.

I do like this moment you've chosen. I'm curious about Marlene, why she's in Grimmauld place with Remus and how she's lost so much. This makes me invested in her character and I think overall you've done a nice job at taking her on and defining her a little bit. Good job! Hope this review helped!

Author's Response: Sorry for responding to this so late. I'm working on catching up on all my hpff this February break! Thanks so much for your input, and I'm glad you like the basis of the story.

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