Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:DracoFerret11 says:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums! I saw that you were also participating in the "Supernatural Creatures Challenge" and figured I would come and check out your entry! So, let's go over things:

Plot: So! This was a great take on the succubus creature! I liked that he was dreaming of her even before he'd ever seen her. Things moved a little fast between the first scene in his apartment and the last scene where she goes home with him, though. It might be nice to have a scene where he's at work and distracted, or something like that. Just to make things flow a bit better.

Characterization: I liked that you used Theo! He's one of my personal favorites. :) I wish we could have gotten more into his character, though. It would be nice to see just HOW confused he is when he's dreaming of this strange girl, how his family and friends react to him being so distracted. We got a hint of that with Blaise, but more could help flesh out the story. I also would have LOVED to see how Draco acts just around his friends. :)

Descriptions: Here's another place where more detail could have brought the story to life. I think what you have is good, don't get me wrong, but if you spend a little while with the little things (details, etc.), you could really make this incredibly realistic and maybe even a bit scary.

Interactions: Great job with the first scene between Theo and Willow. I liked that he couldn't control himself. That fits a lot with what I know about succubuses. Awesome job!

Overall, I think you did very well! Good luck in the challenge!

--Emily

Author's Response: Heya hun!! Aww I'll have to check out your story as well! I bet it's wonderful! :D

Thank you! I had no idea how to even begin with introducing this character and make it follow ToS. That's a really good idea! I didn't even think to include a scene like that, I will definitely have to add something like that in, thank you for your suggestion.

Awww I'm so glad that you love Theo, I love Theo too, he's so underused in my opinion. There will be more to this story! I'm planning on a few more chapters, which I'll explore more on the succubus and Theo's friendships.

Ooo I could make this scary, I would love to make this scary. :D

Thank you so much for your wonderful review hun! And I'm sorry it took so long to resond.


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 916
Submit Report: