|Review:||Penelope Inkwell says:|
When I read your summary I really didnít know what to expect. It was difficult to imagine an appealing story about an incubus. But then, you just surprised me. There were some really lovely moments in this, and the ending was so striking. You did a very nice job with this one shot!
Your descriptions are lovely. The way you describe his darkness and sensuality--itís really just so smooth. Itís dark, but not so dark itís just terrifying and creepy. Itís more like...I donít know, those commercials for chocolate truffles, like Lindt? And they always are pouring out these floods of dark chocolate that just ripples and pools and makes food look sort of weirdly sexy? Itís like that.
...which is meant to be a very fine compliment--I hope that comes across. Chocolate is always a compliment.
If I had to give CC, and I pretty much always do as a general rule, the only thing I could think of was that there was once or twice when he sounded almost modern, which was different than his usual dark chocolate I-have-seen-the-empires-crumble-and-now-I-shall-seduce-you voice. But then, sometimes that was a good thing. It gave him that touch of humanity that made you able to connect with him, just a bit. To be able to feel for him, just enough to make the story matter more than it would if he was just some emotionless monster.
"it is spoken of all the time but never mentioned: monitored by physicians with monocles, black-draped women with white hoods and stern faces kneeling before solemn effigies as the dust mites are trapped in their wimples. There is no place for we dark ones here. ď--I just love this. The depiction of the Victorian age is so well crafted, and how you chose to set this in that era--Strike of Brilliance!--that would be remarkable bad times for a seduction demon.
I loved how you had him spend so many centuries in London, from the Roman occupation of Londinium, to the Arthurian age, to the Victorian. Those little tidbits dropped here and there really give that sense of an ancient being.
"Can you feel me? Black as the velvety ink which has been hidden as you snuffed out your candle, plunging the world into quiet stillness.Ē --This might have been my favorite. Right at the beginning, it just sets the mood so well.
Your concept, too, was fascinating, since the story was as much about his lover as it was about him. The way you described what she had done to survive her poverty, and all the circumstances proceeding her marriage. And it being Dumbledoreís mother! Those last words at the end, and then suddenly it all lined up: her eldest son being a wizard of such remarkable power, his blackened hand, the tragedies that struck the family again and again, his victories and mistakes, the Mirror of Erised. What a concept! It was a really brilliant idea, and stars to you for thinking of it.
One question: was the other demonís son, from the East, Grindelwald? If so, I like that, too. Iím a big fan of little, intricate details that can only really be understood in hindsight, and you did a marvelous job of including that here!
Author's Response: Hello! :) Thanks for swapping with me, and leaving me such a thoughtful review! It was so wonderful to receive.
I'm very happy you were pleasantly surprised! I was really curious about how people might react to this story before and after they read it, especially since it was so odd and written really hastily.
Thank you, I'm glad you liked the descriptions! Haha, I think the chocolate metaphor is one of the best compliments I've ever gotten, and I know exactly what you mean. :D Chocolate is always a good thing.
Excellent, CC is always appreciated. :) I'm going to do some editing in a couple days and I'll keep an eye out for modernness and see whether it should be adjusted or not. Thanks for pointing that out! :)
I'm so pleased you liked the Victorian era, and it's such a time of change but also certain associations and I had a lot of fun imagining that world. I've actually been studying Foucault in one class so I think that part about restrained sensuality came from reading his work, and I've been reading Victorian novels lately too which helped set the atmosphere! Yes, the poor incubus has a bit of a rough time of it!
I'm a little obsessed with history and with London, and it seems to creep its way into most of my stories somehow. I'm happy you liked the historical references and it really felt like he'd been alive, wandering the earth for all this time.
That was the first line I wrote when getting the piece onto the screen, and I'm so glad it stuck with you! One of my favourites as well. :)
Yes, I thought this particular lover was especially important in tying them into the HP-verse, and it's lovely to know that you liekd her story. I positioned it so that readers might have this moment of realization at the end and suddenly the whole story would tie together, and I'm really happy that seemed to happen for you, it makes me so happy! :)
Yes, that was what I intended. :) You're so perceptive!
Thanks so much for a wonderful review, it was really a joy to read and respond to. :D