Iím so sorry about the wait for this review! The build-up for Christmas is always a lot busier than I remember it to be :P
I really liked the way Sadieís character is beginning to evolve and just seeing it happen really makes my heart warm. It was just the way she was so nervous and shy at first, but here sheís understanding the weird noises the twins make, is offering to help and slipping in with the family rather than being an attraction for them. Itís just so nice and yeah, heart-warming.
One thing that works well though, is that youíre still making her have sort of black outs and moments of nervousness with the others such as Mrs Weasley and the twins acting appropriately with them. Itís still the transition period and youíre doing a good job of showing that. I just canít help but wonder whether something from her past will show up and ruin it all for her.
One tiny CC, I did find the scene with Ireland cheering on the success a little confusing. Itís just the way you left the section before, because I thought we would have another scene at the Quidditch world cup before coming to this. I can see why you would omit due to repetition but if there was greater clarity over where and when in time we were exactly it might be useful.
I didnít expect to read from Billís perspective, but I really enjoyed it. I knew he was a nice person, but I liked that sensitive side of him you showed with the way he was trying to think of what magic caused Sadie to be like that, and the way he was trying to think of ways to talk about it. It was a really nice and unexpected moment and we got to see a character not always written much in fan fiction.
Author's Response: Oh look, almost 4 months later, she FINALLY gets around to responding to this amazing review. I'm SO SORRY! *tiny voice* Please don't hate me?
I'm so glad you think Sadie is developing, and you are liking her. I know we shouldn't get attached to our characters, but I've spent so long working on this, I kinda can't help it. So it warms MY heart when someone says they like Sadie.
And she is trying to fit in, to get to know the family, to come out of her shy shell. But it is such a huge change from where she's been for the last 7 years that it can't just happen all at once, as you pointed out. There are still moments where she's going to be lost in the past or in thought, or just generally afraid to jump into it all. And as for something from her past showing up...well, for that you'll just have to wait and see. If you want to come back and read more, after waiting so long for me to respond to this, that is. *hides again*
Sorry for the confusion on the Ireland part. I did worry about readers being able to follow that abrupt change. I tried several ways to fit in a throw away sentence about where they were now, and how time had passed, but I just couldn't get it to go in naturally, so I ended up leaving the scene as it was and hoping for the best. So, I'll have to be more careful with scene jumping from now on.
I also tried showing the game itself, but it just felt too much like I was retelling the book, and I didn't want that, so I jumped ahead.
I like Bill and I think he gets forgotten about a lot in fic. It was fun to show a different side of him. As the oldest, he would probably have a practiced eye for noticing when his siblings were in trouble, and I figured he'd extend that to Sadie now. And he's also got a pretty dangerous job that he'd need to be pretty smart to do, so he's going to be puzzling what happened to the new girl.
Thanks again for reading! I hope you can forgive the lateness of the response.