WHOA. SO MANY CHARACTERS. AND OMG FIRST REVIEW, AGAIN.
(you know, I don't even know how I'm so awesome)
First of all, I've been smart enough to remember I typo I saw! Most of the time I'm just too lazy to remember, but because it was basically perfect, I don't want you to have to comb through and find the typo, so I'll just tell you to save the trouble. :D
"So you're first day went well, no major incidents." -- should be your.
...he’s ginger hair shining brightly... -- should be his, I think. I'm rotten at editing, so I can't tell lol. I think you might have those kind of slips here and there, nothing too troubling though. :)
Anyways, now let me lavish this chapter with my love and gush.
I like Granny Lucy, what a subtle nod to canon. I think that's so smart of you.
There was so much going on, and I think I really like Audrey. I love the use of (parenthesis) you have in her internal dialogue, it's hilarious. She has many quirks and I think it really adds to her personality.
We don't get to see much of George in fics, especially post war, so I liked his inclusion. His characterization - though in a drunken state - was flawless. I really enjoyed him, and Angelina. I like Verity a ton too!
I forgot to mention, hahaha, you couldn't have started the chapter off in a better way. It was like a bomb going off and my attention was immediately captured.
And PERCY. BROOMSTICK ... Okay, that was funny. Percy's so annoying. I don't think him and Audrey can be a couple hehe :P
What a fabulous start Kiana!
(I better be first, Ninja Nadia!)
Author's Response: Ninja Nadia is also nawesome and nbrillaint Nadia. :D AND YAY WAY TOO MANY CHARACTERS, THE MORE THE BETTER THOUGH BECAUSE YOLO.
Wah, thank you for typo spotting for me, I always suck at that and leave one or two no matter how many times I stare at it!
Haha, yes, you have to have a nod towards canon ;) Bahaha, writing Audrey is way too much I just get too combine all the mad quirks I have and put them into her, the use of parenthesis is surprisingly addictive and is finding its way into all my writing :P
Aw, George, he's quite forgotten about which is sad but he will feature in this a lot as will Angelina. I'm glad you like Verity too as she's in nearly every chapter :P
Bahaha, Percy, poor, poor, Percy but being mean to him in this was way too fun. I was almost tempted to string it out for even longer but he and Audrey had to get together at some point.
Thanks for a fabulous review, Nadia!