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Review:marauderfan says:
Hi Monica! I'm here with your review from the forums!

This is a really great chapter. The beginning was so wonderful with the raw emotions that both of them are too afraid to say, it was really sweet. I loved it when Ana hugged Draco and he didn't quite know how to react. And the fact that she was simultaneously trying to steal files from him, just added this extra layer of silliness that contrasted the difficult goodbye. I could picture the scene perfectly and just ah! I loved it.

Your writing has come a long way since the beginning by the way. I love the small descriptions here that add so much - like the contrast between Draco and Harry's handwriting, how Ginny is carrying a bag in before she rushes off to Quidditch - they're just small details, but for me that's how to really effectively paint a picture, which you did well in this chapter, it was very visual.

Loved the end scene too. I could tell exactly what was happening without even seeing anything. I particularly loved this: The Ministry has no idea who she is, andó Ron! Yes I am going to eat them!

Hahaha. Your portrayals of Ron and Hermione are spot on, so great job! Hermione has clearly thought through everything, and Ron is just there to eat and make snarky comments (including one about Ana's appearance. Ha. Good going Ron, that definitely earned you a slap, lol.)

The only thing I'd watch out for is tense shift. Sometimes it hopped into present tense, so a quick read over could catch most of those.

Great chapter, I am enjoying this story so much!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much I am so glad you liked this chapter! I think it's one of my favorite chapters to write!

so happy to hear that you think my writing has improved. That's all I want is to keep getting better! And also glad to know my other characters aren't OOC. I find Canon characters to be the hardest to write.

I am terrible with tense shift! Sorry! Will try to fix that right away.

Thank you for reviewing


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