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Review:BookDinosaur says:
KRISTIN. HAI.

I loved this! I know you said it didn't turn out how you wanted it to, but I think it's a great story.

The only thing I really noticed about this that might have annoyed you/me/any other given person was that it does deviate from the books a little bit - when Mary went to the hearing, she mentioned the kids being 'scared that she might not come back [home]' and at the end, she and Reg were reunited, and she was telling him that 'he told me to get the kids and get away, and I really think he's right' or something along those lines. Of course, this is from my memory, so I might be completely off the mark. :P But it really doesn't matter that this isn't completely canon, it is fanfiction.

Reg's voice was really real to me, how much he loved his wife and he had to care for his kids - I think you really managed to capture his fear for them and their awful state because he was connected to a muggle-born, like how they couldn't afford the mortgage and how he was fired from the Ministry.

Just another small thing: I love how you had Reg Cattermole's wife to be Mary MacDonald. That was an amazing way to blend her into the story, and it makes sense, so kudos to you for thinking of that, I know it never would've occured to me. :D

If there was one bit of CC I would give you, it would be at the very end, I find those last three sentences a little abrupt, it's just like BAM and they're in France. Personally, I would have liked the ending to be a little more fleshed-out - you could describe how terrified or how relieved they were, or their surroundings as they realised that they were in France. Of course, if you were intentionally going for that abrupt ending, ignore all this. :)

I also enjoyed reading about our favourite news presenters, I think you did a great job capturing Lee and Potterwatch in general, I loved getting a quick glimpse of how they worked and what sort of conditions they put up with to get the real news out to those who could hear. Seeing Kingsley's involvement was so interesting as well, how they were speaking in riddles and how he was in more danger than any of them, being such a well-known figure, I guess. He's so brave to have been part of something like Potterwatch, I respect him so much for it.

Anyway, this was an amazing one-shot I thouroughly enjoyed reading. Keep up the amazing work, Kristin! :D

Author's Response: EMILYYY

Thanks for that point about the possible non-canon ness. I was worried about that actually, because I don't have my copy of the books here so I was relying on memory, and I knew I'd get something wrong. Oops :p Next time I have access to my books I will look over that scene again!

I'm glad you liked Reg's voice in this. It was pretty out of my comfort zone to write so I wasn't sure if he would seem realistic - so it's wonderful to hear that he did! And yeah, since in the book his wife's name was Mary, I thought I may as well include a familiar character!

The last three sentences were meant to be abrupt. Most of the story is just Reg waiting around and time passing slowly, so I meant for the end to be a lot quicker when everything comes together. (But yeah I was pretty rushed writing the ending to complete it on time for the challenge, so I probably could have done that better! :p)

I'm glad you liked the Potterwatch angle! I always thought it was an interesting hodge podge of people participating so I thought it might be fun to write an inside glimpse into it. Kinglsey is totally a boss. So much respect for him.

Thanks so much for your review, and I'm thrilled that you liked the story! :)


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