Hello Adi! :D I'm so sorry for taking so ridiculously long to get here - I am a terrible daughter/reviewer, I know! :P
Wow, this is just breathtaking. You've really constructed such an artful, heartbreaking piece in a few words. The quote for the challenge fits so perfectly with Myrtle's experience, and I thought it really complemented the whole thing and pulled her voice and self-quesitoning and reflection together in a really powerful way. It was quite brilliant how you included little pieces of the quote, especially at the end, into your own prose.
It's funny, I've always been one of those slightly cruel people who saw Myrtle as a really ridiculous and comic character, and I don't think her portrayal in the movies helped at all to improve her image. But this story really shows how much of a victim she is, and how she's someone to be pitied as well. I felt so sorry for her when she tried to approach the girls and wished for a Harry or a Draco- it's even more upsetting as they weren't even that nice to her, yet she still thinks of them as friends even though they probably would never think to visit her or spare her a thought.
A contrast which I found really interesting was how she was talking about her former life, and how she had laughed a lot and loved books. I pictured her being the exact same in life as she was in death but this really opened my eyes to how much death would have changed her personality and stolen her spirit- in more ways than one. The thought of her dying just before she could have been kissed was really heart-breaking too, another symbol of the human contact she so craved. I wonder if her boyfriend ever came to visit her in her toilet? I hope he did. :)
It's quite interesting how you set this after the war, and how while things have changed for so many other people, Myrtle's existence remains stagnant and lonely no matter the political context.
Come and take my empire of dust, and I'll take your breaking heart and your tears. I will take your pain and your misery, because it is all a part of life. But, I will also take your joys, your firsts and your lasts. Gah, Adi! This line is just pure beauty. It gave me goosebumps, and it's so eloquently crafted and irresistibly poignant. Poor Myrtle. :(
I loved the image of Myrtle placing her heart on the floor. It was so sad when the girl told Myrtle not to moan and it destroys her confidence again. It's like she's lost her identity, her voice, symbolized in this awful girl telling her she doesn't want to hear about her pain. I thought that was a really strong metaphor about other voiceless victims in society and how because Myrtle is annoying to someone who doesn't care to listen, she's pushed to the outskirts of society and leads this really barren existence.
Another great image were her tears being associated with milk and the image of them matching the rest of her pale body. The tie-in with the last sentence there was perfect as well and a lovely way to end this wonderful piece.
In your request you asked if the angst came out well: I think my flailing and gushing through this review should assure you that you wrote it perfectly. :)
I'm sorry again for taking so long to get here, but thank you for requesting this and giving me the chance to express my thoughts on this delicate and beautiful piece of writing! :D It was truly wonderful.
Author's Response: Jenna ♥ How long has it taken me to respond to this loveliness? Far too long for it to be acceptable, right? I'm so sorry!
I'm glad you liked how I used the quote. I was worried about whether it would amalgamate itself with hr story, seeing as it was just there in the end, but I'm quite pleased with it now!
And all those lovely things you have to say? I don't even know how to respond appropriately. I just want to run around in circles! Anyway, I have to admit that I'm not a particularly nice person in that regard either. Till I was given this quote, I never honestly thought of her as anything BUT annoying. But the quote really helped me get a fresh perspective on her! And all those things about her never getting to experience the simple things of life? Yeah, I was thinking about how the smaller moments make our lives so meaningful, and the fact that she didn't even get the chance to do that is profoundly sad :(
Perpetual stagnation is what I'd call it. Quite sad, isn't it? Society has evolved a thousand times over, but poor Myrtle has changed a bit. But I can't quite blame her in this portrayal.
That quote seems to be a favourite! It's funny how it never struck me while I wrote it. But I'm glad you feel that way!
OHMYGOD YES! Jenna, you've just made this so much more deep! But I'm so struck by that, so thank you *hugs*
I'm sorry it took me so long to respond to this gem of a review. Everything you've sad just makes me so happy, and I honestly don't know how to possibly thank you enough for that, but, thank you anyway ♥ I will always treasure this review!