Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:toomanycurls says:
Hello! Sorry I take so long with requested reviews. I don't usually do multi-chapter requests but I did read through the prologue and first chapter.

The way Josephine describes Fred is quite perfect. Phrases like larger than life stood out to me as especially perfect.

The interview questions Fred asks are awesome. Just the off-the-wall types of questions I'd expect from him. They remind me of what you might get if you were to interview at Google or some hip company (minus the quidditch and attractiveness question).

I quite like that Josephine has some business savvy. That could be a great asset to their small store!

I really like that Fred saw through her interest in working there. He raises the exact points I'd expect him too. Fred is quite sharp and would notice someone who wasn't really interested in their store.

George sounds rather spot on when he's talking about the demonstration. Very focused on their business and the product.

Oh dear, poor Josephine. She has it bad for him.

Their conversation about her while she's right there in the room seems quite like something they'd do.

Fred figuring out Josephine is quite the moment. This part: "Well, drape me in purple velvet and call me Dumbledore: You have a thing for George!" had me laughing. Fred always has a way with phrases - this one is quite awesome.

I kind of agree with Fred - up to now she seems a touch stalkerish. :) (why hasn't she said anything yet? I mean, part from the few phrases she got out early on)

haha, it does seem quite like Fred to hire someone just for the potential of having funny situations come up frequently.

I thought this phrase "harboring less than decent night-time thoughts" was especially spot on for Fred. It's funny and smart - quite the good combo for him to hit.

Oh gosh, Fred asking if she loves or likes George is awesome. I'm sure he'd want to protect his brother from hurt (which Jo clearly isn't trying to do) but would also want to understand her interest in him.

I love the scene with Fred and Josephine. The lengths that Fred will go to for his brother feel quite right. also, seeing what he's willing to do for the business also seems right on.

I'm interesting to see how Jo manages to convince the family she and Fred were involved. I mean, it seems like the type of thing George would know about. This is quite an intriguing story - you've written in very well and use Fred and George with great ease. reading this I wouldn't know they were hard for you to write.


Author's Response: Hey there! No worries whatsoever! And thank you for reviewing even though it's outside of your usual structure! I really appreciate it! *sends cookies*

LOL I'm so glad the interview questions have been such a big hit! They were really fun to come up with and I'm glad readers are enjoying them as well! And PHEW for Fred feeling in character!

Yes! So true! I adore the twins because they are not only hilarious, but truly intelligent and observant people, too! I'm glad you agree that Fred would have picked up on Jo's behavior! Also, I knew I needed Jo to have something beneficial to offer the company, or else I'm not sure it'd be quite believable that she'd end up there regardless of the George thing. Thanks!!

Yay George's scene! I'm glad he worked for you too and that you enjoyed all of the different moments of that section!

LOL That line seems to be a favorite, and I was quite happy when I came up with it too - Fred's so silly. :-p

Hahahaha Yeah, she really is kind of sweet, but mostly stalkerish - he hit the nail on the head with that one, methinks. ^.^ Also, as quiet as Jo is in regular life, when she's under stress, her silence seems to become almost completely insurmountable, so with Fred discovering her most sacred secret I think all she cares about is escaping! hehehe

Ah, I'm so glad the closing exchanges between Fred and Jo worked for you! I think that might have been the spot I was most worried about, but I'm glad to hear the dialogue fit and Fred's train of thought was an accurate one! I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief now! haha Thank you!!

It's great to have you intrigued about the future of the story! The next two chapters should really explore the set up of getting Jo involved with the family - I'm excited to finish writing those scenes in particular! :)

I'm so happy that you enjoy my writing and believe I've done a good job with writing the twins! Honestly, that's so nice to hear! I sincerely appreciate it! This review is just so wonderful, thank you so much for taking the time to write such a detailed response! :-D

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 949
Submit Report: