Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:SkyEcho says:
Hi MC_HK! I'm here with your requested review. You have created such a unique and exciting story. I really enjoyed reading this :)

Your plot flows nicely. I liked that you started off with the action in the Prologue and focused on Anaxandra at the Ministry for questioning in this chapter. The pacing of your revelations is good - nothing dragged or felt rushed. You have left me with lots of unanswered questions, which as a reader, keeps me interested. I'm looking forward to finding out more about Anaxandra's life as a Hunter.
Anaxandra is a great character. She has a unique upbringing that does show in her actions / way she carries herself. I liked the interrogation scenes. We see her strength here. Her refusal to give away any information is believeable, especially considering her upbringing. It's almost as if she is used to being in dangerous situations where she has to keep a clear head and work through the obstacles in her way before getting caught up in her emotions. It was nice to see her open up to Draco. You did a great job of showing her struggle with this.
I felt that Draco was portrayed well, especially in the middle to end of the chapter. He was intimidating and the dialogue felt realistic. In the beginning, although you referenced his past and how he has changed, it would help if you added some more internal struggle to help the reader "see" his change better. A potential place for this, I thought, could be when his boss references his Death Eater past. Maybe Draco could initially be angry or frustrated that his desire to be trusted and accepted is not happening because his past keeps overshadowing any progress he's made?
I liked that you showed how reluctant his boss was to ask him for help. This is believable. Yet, maybe adding more to show how desperate he is would strengthen your story. What's the rush for this girl to open up (from the MInistry's perspective)? What is so special / troubling about this particular case that he's willing to take the rest of Draco's cases? Even if you don't tell us everything here - hints as to his desperation would work nicely to move things along smoothly. It might also pique Draco's interest to uncover the reason his boss wants this so badly.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this and i look forward to finding out what happens!

Author's Response: Hey thanks for reviewing :) yeah I need to do a little rewriting of my earlier chapters and all of this really helped me a lot. I agree with everything you say in that I could have included so much more detail to strengthen emotions. Thank you again :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 916
Submit Report: