Hello Ashwini! :)
I'm back. Courtesy, REVIEW TAG! :D
I know it has taken me a very long time, I'm so sorry! :( I should learn to be more prompt with these things!
Anyway, onto the review.
I'm liking the sound of Amy. She seems like a free-spirit and I really like such characters who aren't afraid to break free and go their own way!
I think you have a lot of potential to develop a great character here and I hope that you have explored her further in the coming chapters because it is loads of fun to read about her! :)
I love how you've given the readers two very disconnected chapters here. It keeps us guessing and wondering. It's a wonderful way to keep your readers in the loop. Personally, I'm trying to figure out where the two stories overlap.
I do have some CC though, and I hope this doesn't sound too harsh! Firstly, I think I mentioned this in the first chapter too, but I'll say it again. Your paragraphs are quite dense and it makes the story difficult to read or concentrate on. If you could break up your paragraphs, it'd be great!
Secondly, description, description, description! Trust me, you've got some great stuff here and it's the kind of story that lends itself well to a little bit of description. Not too much, but there has to be a balance. I would love to know how all of this looked or how it all felt! Flesh it out a little and you're set :)
Thirdly, I see that you've made some grammatical errors and some of the words have been used out of context. Don't worry! It happens to the best of us :) But if you could get a beta, I think it would be very helpful to you because I think that sometimes, as a reader, you see a mistake and you stop and correct it in your head. A few of those don't distract the reader much, but there's a point where we have to stop-and-correct a little more than we should. So, I'm not saying that this is bad, but I think it would be nice if you could have the mistakes edited out :)
Finally, and if you allow me to be brutally honest, Amy... She's a witch who's of age, isn't she? So why couldn't she apparate out? Or why didn't she cast a couple of spells here and there to aid her in her escape? It just seems highly unrealistic to me that a witch like her would not make full use of her magical abilities in such a situation.
Also, maybe you were going for a reckless personality, but you described her as a naughty girl. and it seemed a bit childish, but that's just me :P
Overall, I think that there's a lot of room for improvement here, but what you have so far is quite interesting. I like your OC and hope that you will be able to develop her well. I wish to find out how her story is linked to Krum's and I will be back soon :) In the meantime, if you ever need any help, do shoot me a PM and I will do what I can!
I'm sorry if this seemed sort of harsh. I'm only trying to help and I do tend to include a lot of CC in my reviews! It's just all the advice I can give and I'm sorry if I gave a bit too much or if it's all rubbish! :P
Hope this was helpful! :)
Author's Response: Hi there! It was nice to see you back for the second chapter. :)
Yes, I have tried to explore her slowly through the upcoming chapters. I didn't put much description into this for I wanted to tell more about her through Viktor's perspective. You'll have to come back for chapter 3 if you want to know how they meet though! ;)
Well, you do make sense. It didn't even come to my mind that Amy might use spells or something to escape her house! Thanks so much for mentioning that! I'll definitely edit the chapter and make some changes. =]
It wasn't harsh at all! Neither this was rubbish. Thanks for the lovely review!