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Review:Lululuna says:
Hi, I'm back from review tag! :)

I was really happy to see things progress into this chapter and the ideas really take root and expand. I'm still quite interested in Grace's powers and how they will affect her time at Hogwarts. I like the way you've characterized the werewolf dynamic with both souls being trapped inside one body: it's very creative and interesting. :)

I would watch out for using swear words in characters dialogue unless it's absolutely necessary, like when Grace swears at the beginning of the chapter and again when she's talking with Dumbledore. I don't think Grace seems like the type to have a potty-mouth, she's too eloquent and childlike in my opinion, while a character like Sirius might be more likely to swear. When she's upset, you could use words like "wretched," "ridiculous," "nonsense," "bloody" "blast" "curses" instead, and I think it wouldn't be as much of a shock when she suddenly starts shouting out swear words. Just a thought, anyway. :)

Also, I would have loved here if you'd explained what a levifold was, even if it was just a sentence or two. :)

Grace's quirkiness is really endearing- I enjoyed her deciding the staircase was an enemy, and her odd little thoughts and interactions make a very intriguing and original character. It was cute how she wished she could erase Lily's memory of her and start over again- it seems like a drastic measure, but her worry about Lily thinking badly about her was very relatable and typical of a teenage girl, no matter her strange powers. I also quite enjoyed Albus' comment about Grace coming on too strong, as it's so clear to the reader but quite funny how she doesn't realize it herself.

The level of backstory on Remus is great and I like how you expanded on the Pottermore information. The story being AU and the events of the prologue have given me a lot to think about as well, and Grace having visions about Lupin's entire life and not being able to see the events that her presence will change was very intriguing, and I wonder how much her showing up will alter the events of the books.

I love Grace's first reactions to Snape and how she sees the goodness in him right away. Her naivety about his name and desire to protect him were very endearing, and I'm looking forward to seeing how their relationship will develop. It's very interesting to me how she had visions about the rest of the gang, but not Snape, even if she thinks he's her true love. It's an interesting reversal how she thinks she's not good enough for him, though I understand his assuming her attention is a prank and I don't blame him for being suspicious.

Another very unique and intriguing chapter, well done! :D And sorry if this review is a bit scrambled, it's quite late here! :)

Author's Response: Hello there!

I have taken some time to consider Grace's excessive swearing. There have been mixed feelings about this. Ultimately I decided that, as you've mentioned, it doesn't fit her personality. The revisions where I am toning back some of this are already in the queue :).

Ah! I didn't even THINK to include a description of a lethifold! A lethifold, also known as the "living shroud," is a dark creature that is highly dangerous. It is described as being vaguely similar to a fairly thin black cloak that increases in thickness depending on how recently it has ingested a victim. It attacks humans at night while they are asleep. They are very rare, found only in the tropics, and can be only defended against in the same manner that a dementor can be deterred by (eg, the patronus charm). All credit for the creature goes to Rowling of course, it is her creation :).

I'm glad you enjoyed Grace :) she's a bit of a handful.

Thank you, I wanted to stay as real to cannon as I could with the cannon characters so I've done some research in many different mediums related to the HP world. I thought it would bring some grounding to a story that is a very strong AU, making it easier to relate to. I'm glad to see my research has proven useful! That really makes me happy because I did invest quite a bit of time into it! :) Hooray! You've made my day!

As far as the events of the books, however, there will not be much of a change. You'll see why and how later, though. It's a secret!

I thought that, since the normal perspective is that Snape sees himself as not good enough for the OC, or whatever, I would give it a good little turn-around. She has seen some visions concerning Severus, but as he will make a significant impact on her life she hasn't been able to really see anything concerning him. As the story progresses, she WILL see more about his future.

Anyways, thank you very much!!

-Rumpel


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