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Review:DumbledoresArmyOfOne says:
Hello! I've been on a mission to get all of my reviews done, so I thought I may as well review yours while I was at it.

First of all, I really enjoyed this chapter. While the speech might be a bit modern for the time frame, I'm not an expert on tenth century England either, so I don't have any critique for you there ;P

Rowena's characterization was really good! I like how you made her young, so you can see that while she is wise and intelligent, she hasn't quite reached the maturity of thought that she was known for in her later years.

I love how you've portrayed the founders. Many people focus on Slytherin's betrayal and forget that before they split, they were friends. It's lovely ow you've shown their friendship and their reliance on each other.

I also really liked that hints about war and unrest. It was a really good way to introduce the setting and conflict in this conversation between friends.

I can't wait to see how Slytherin's character grows and changes into the man known at Hogwarts. Does it have something to do with this muggle girl he's so infatuated with? Hmmm.

Spelling and grammar were impeccable as far as I could see, so that's wonderful!

To answer your question, yes, the first chapter does make me want to keep reading.

I really enjoyed the descriptions in the first paragraph: they really caught my attention with the vividness of the scene you pictured there, so well done.

Excellent first chapter!

~Gilly

Author's Response: Hi Gilly! Aw, thank you! I was sure I had accidentally posted when you had the review queue closed, so I appreciate that you did this anyway, that was really sweet of you.

I was worried about the dialogue. Since I wasn't there in the 10th century to hear how they actually spoke back then (big surprise, right?) I wasn't sure if it would be too awkward sounding. But if you didn't think it took away from the story, that's good.

It's wonderful to hear that you like my portrayal of the founders and their long standing friendship. What a great point you made about Rowena too, being very intelligent but a little immature - I'm really glad you liked her.

Much of the war and unrest is actually historical, there were a lot of wars going on at the time against Vikings - so I just extended it into the wizarding world as well! I'm glad you liked that setting.

I really appreciate your comments on my description - that was one of the things I worked on the most in that chapter so I'm glad it set the scene well.

This was a lovely review, thank you so much!


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