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Review:potterfan310 says:
Hey,

Aww bless Lily, I guess she's not one for keeping secrets, lol. I love how James and Al just glare at her, I can certainly tell they're the over protective cousins.

I think the flashback is really nice, it shows how Rose feels about her and Malfoy's situation and the way he acts. One minute ignoring her, the next jumping in to bed with her.

Scorpius is really sweet for going back to check on her in the night, I think deep down he really does love Rose and she's not just one of his 'girls'.

I think Rose's friends are interesting, and someone from what I know about them I think that when Rose finds out she is pregnant it is most likely gonna be Jacqueline who sticks by her than Blair. To me Blair seems a bit... I'm unsure of the word but I think she might just be friends with Rose because of her name and who her parents/family are. She just gives me that sort of vibe.

CC -
"I re-read the same page at least ten times before sighing and shove the book away." - Rather than 'shove' it would be 'shoving' as it makes more sense.

The start of the flashback paragraph the word 'last' was all in capitals, I'm not sure if it was intentional as you want to emphasise the word but putting it in italics works better.

You might want to have a re-over as you need a gap between some of the paragraphs, it's nothing major but it can avert the eye.

- "I slip into my seat next to Blair and peer over at her without really turning my head." I noticed you changed tenses with 'slip' and 'peer' add 'ed' to each of them so it follows with the rest of the story tense. Also the two sentences that followed this one, the word 'can' should be 'could'.

Can't wait for the next chapter!!!

10/10
-Potterfan310
Soph :)

Author's Response: Thanks! I love your comments on the story and how you see the story and it's progressing. I really appreciate it! And yes, the word last was meant to be italicized, I put it in caps so I would remember to do so, I guess I forgot, oops!

As for the spaces between the paragraphs, my computer rebels against me, so I either have too many spaces between the paragraphs or none at all. It was an interesting little battle the first few times I tried to edit the chapter.

Thanks for the corrections on words as well, I re-wrote this chapter so many times I just started taking parts from different versions and pasting them in, so I clearly got my wording confused there.

Thanks again for the review, I'm in the process of writing the next chapter now, I hope you like it!

xoxo LL


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