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Review:CambAngst says:
Tagging you from Review Tag!

I thought this was a great start to a mysterious story. You created an amazing atmosphere of uncertainty and danger and an ominous sort of vibe. I felt like you included just enough information to whet my appetite. I have a sense of when the story is happening and where, but not much in the way of what. The who is also sketchy and I haven't a clue as to the why. It really makes me want to read more. You are going to write more, aren't you? ;)

Your descriptions of the characters surroundings was beautifully done. You definitely have a gift for painting lovely, detailed landscapes for your story. Not only the visual details, but also the auditory and tactile. I absolutely loved it!

Starting the story off with the two unfamiliar muggle characters was a nice touch, I thought. It helped to preserve the sense of mystery by not starting us off with anything familiar. The story was also much more tense when told through their eyes.

I liked the way that you not only told us that Maggie Bagshot was old, you demonstrated it in every little detail about her and her reactions. Some relation of Bathilda's, I would imagine?

And then finally you started to slip in some of the real meat of the story. This is all taking place in Godric's Hollow, and Teddy Lupin is there to investigate whatever is happening. Lastly the scream helped to cement the two distinct scenes together in time.

One thing I saw that I wasn't sure about was the very first sentence: A single slanted line of yellow light connected the dark gray night clouds to the white expanse on the Earth below, signaling the end of another night. Did you mean to say "another day"? Everything else about the scene feels like things are getting darker, not lighter.

Brilliant job! This is a fantastic beginning and my hat is off to you and Lauren for excellent editing! I hope there is much more to come.

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