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Review:academica says:
Hi there, here with your requested review!

This was a cute Jily piece. I liked how you showed them bonding over a "date" that, for all intended purposes, went horribly wrong :) I really enjoyed watching them transform the situation into a humorous one by tossing the cakes into the lake and laughing about it. It was also refreshing to see Lily mildly annoyed by James and James being willing to take a hint from Lily--it's different from the usual exchange of loud insults that I see in too many Jily stories.

I do feel like the ending was a little over the top and went into a bit of a melodramatic zone. You avoided talk of hatred and passionate kisses for so much of the story that this ending seems like it's too fast--like it would be more suited for ten more "dates" beyond this point. If you wanted to experiment more with Jily, you could always extend this into a short story collection. However, as is, I'd recommend altering the end to fit the mood of the rest of the story a bit more.

I liked your peaceful imagery, particularly the way you described the scene by the lake before the buzzing started. The dialogue between Lily and James was also nice, easy and pleasant. I did notice a few problems with dialogue tags; there is a great tutorial under Writer's Resources on the forums that I have used in the past for the same issue, and I would recommend taking a look.

Nice work! I hope this review is helpful :)


Author's Response: Thank you so much for this awesome review! I'm glad you pointed out the over-the-topness, I hadn't thought of that before and I will definitely use your advice :) Sorry this response is so late!

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