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Review:marauderfan says:
Hi there!

I've never read anything about Ariana Dumbledore (or, well, any of the Dumbledores when they were young) so I was really intrigued to find this! And as much as I want to continue reading your fear short story, I couldn't resist reading this.

This was so sad! Poor Ariana. I must say, you did so well at writing such a young character who doesn't understand what is happening or what she's doing. The way she sees the situation is so innocent and perfectly suited to her age. She doesn't understand that she's purposely being kept in the house to avoid those "terrible incidents", she just thinks her mum isn't as fun as her brothers.

I also liked the way you wrote her relationships with her mum and older siblings, it seemed so realistic. From the way that she wanted to join her "cool" older brothers at school and in adventures, to the way her Mum just didn't understand (in Ariana's eyes), she was a very real character and I could absolutely see the aspect of the youngest sibling feeling left out from all the fun.

And the way she reacted to her mother's death - ugh that just tugged at my heartstrings. This: Death was a concept Ariana had heard many times. Dad died in Azkaban and never came home. How could Mum die when she wasn’t in Azkaban? Did that mean she wouldn’t come home? When did she leave?
I was really touched by that. Kids see death so much differently from how adults do, and I think the way you wrote her interpretation of it is excellent. For her, it's more confusing than sad, until she starts to realise what it means and how things will change. The way you handled the balance of how a young kid sees the world and her emotions and confusion is admirable. And ugh I just want to give the girl a hug :(

The end was well done too, with Aberforth taking responsibility for his sister. It definitely hints at what is to come later as mentioned in the books, how she was so much closer to Aberforth than Albus.

Great work on this (as always!) And good luck in the challenges! ♥

Author's Response: Hi!!!

So, one, it's great that this seems a bit more unique than other stories out there. I didn't poke around to see if there were other Ariana stories out there. I kind of assumed there were but I haven't been into FF as deeply in the past 5 years (so I'm a bit disconnected with the trends). and two, I'm thrilled you want to coninue with the Fear series. :D

I struggled with how to portray Ariana so I'm glad it felt right. She wasn't too young but always seemed childlike based on how Aberforth and Albus talked about her. I'm sure to her, her magical outburts weren't too big of a deal (apart from being draining) but she didn't know the legal issues with having someone who can't control their magic. :-/ It does say a lot about Kendra that she did work so hard to keep her daughter safe from St. Mungos (which would have been the easier route for a daughter who couldnt' control herself).

I'm really happy her relationships were realistic. I was the youngest in my family until I was 8 (with my older siblings being 5 years older than me) - I definitely put a bit of my own feelings and experiences into her desire to be one of the older kids. I'm sure it was even worse for Ariana with the combo of youngest and considered fragile.

I'm sorry it was hard to read about her mom's death and I'm quite happy it was hard to read. I think there's a time in life where people don't realize that everyone dies. It's not just something that happens in special/weird circumstances.

I'm very glad you liked Aberforth taking a bit more responsiblity with her in explaining their mother's death. I imagine having him bring the news was because of their close relationship.

Thank you very much for such an incredible review!!

-Rose


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