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Review:GingeredTea says:
This opening was haunting. That was a powerful scene in cannon and to see it here - well it was powerful. It is embedded into most readers heads and your writing did it justice here - simple but intense.

"Gods forbid she did not receive that schedule." - this made me laugh.

You actually do a really good job with Peter, which is nice and refreshing. You don't make him cower like I've seen (if he were so very pathetic, why would James' and Sirius and Remus have been friends with him), but you do show the favoritism and the almost easy-to-please nature about him. He's immature, but not like Sirius and James.

Is Cruor Terra an alternative world, or part of the Harry Potter world? I'm confused. She uses a portal to get in? She put a spell on it? No, a potion? I think a brief intro like "She couldn't exactly use a wand like a normal wizard, but she could use potions/runes/etc./etc. to achieve things, like this charm on her bracelet that she had made do." that would really have helped me here. I get that you want to leave things a mystery (I love doing that too) but I feel like I'm scrambling for some footholds here, failing to truly grasp anything because I can't get a foothold on the basic parts.

I am loving the story, except for the above moments when I find myself swimming in confusion.

The idea of the poison and the different worlds, sound really neat.

This chapter, like the last chapter, is overall really good (and much better than the first two). Love. Can't wait to tag you again!

Author's Response: Hey there!

I'm glad you like Peter. He was surprisingly easy to write, though I think he may come off a bit more flamboyant at times that I would like.

Cruor Terra is an alternative world. Maybe I didn't explain this well enough :). Grace doesn't use a wand, but uses the same type of magic...just wandless magic. The charm (which acts as a tether between portals to Cruor and the 'real' world) was made via alchemy. However in Cruor Terra magic is different. They use blood magic and whathaveyou. I'll be sure to go back through and provide more clarity to this :). Thanks for pointing that out! Confusion avoidance has been my major struggle throughout this story.

Thank you :), I'm glad it's getting better! I still have many revisions to do :).


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