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Review:marauderfan says:
Hi there, I'm here with your requested review! No worries about hogging the review thread - I don't have slots in the queue, so you're not hogging! :)

Wow what n intense chapter!! Great job writing the action scenes, by the way. Anaxandra's battle with the beast things was really well written. I understand her not running, after her guilt about what happened last time, but she must know that being outnumbered against an unknown enemy is a bad idea! I guess they are something she hasn't seen before, because she didn't seem to recognise what they were? But somehow they know who she is, because the attack was deliberate. And I can't help wondering why they ran away. The suspense!

I appreciated the nod to Harry and Draco's excursion into the Forbidden Forest in their first year! The dialogue was great too, how Harry told him that everyone except for Ron has forgiven him, haha. Oh and relating to that - Anazandra's comment on how the worst thing Draco had ever done was kicking a daisy, was hilariously ironic. She is so out of the loop! Poor Ana! :p

One thing I wonder (as Ana does too) is why Draco continues staying there, but more than that, where is Astoria? I remember from an earlier chapter that he was dating her, but she seems to have disappeared, even in the segments from Draco's POV. Maybe that's intentional so that there's some surprise for the reader about Astoria, but I find it odd that Draco wouldn't be thinking about or even visiting his girlfriend.

Ok now as for specific things... this paragraph:
A thin mist hovered over the forest floor, swirling with each passing step Draco and Harry took. Trunks of trees stretched high up into the night sky with their leaves almost out of sight from where they stood at their roots. The tips of their wands were lit, but they barely produced enough light to see more than twenty feet ahead.

You use the word "their" a fair number of times in here, but the subject changes from Harry and Draco, to the trees, back to Harry and Draco. I'd suggest changing the sentence about the trees to eliminate the word "they" - maybe something like this: "Tree trunks stretched high up into the night sky with leaves nearly out of sight from the roots."
And I'd also move that sentence to the beginning of the paragraph, going from there into the mist sentence, and then to the lit wands. Then there's no more confusion about what "they/their" is referring to.

Anyway, GREAT chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing :)

Ana has kind of a do or die attitude by this point. She is upset about her family, and kind of decides that if these are the things that killed her family, she's going to kill them or die trying. I'm very glad that you liked the way I wrote the action :)

Yeah, I definitely tried to get some Draco/Harry interaction going on. And yeah, isn't it funny to read that when we all know what Draco has done, but Ana doesn't?

I feel bad about saying this, but I don't have much to say about Astoria. You'll see why in later chapters, but by this point Draco is so busy with Ana and work related things that Astoria isn't really at the forefront of his mind (especially when he's with Ana ;) ).

Thank you for the CC as well! I will definitely look into that when NaNo is over :P

--Monica


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