Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:UnluckyStar57 says:
Hi! I'm here with your second prize review from that challenge that I did a long time ago... :)

This is a really interesting beginning! I never thought about the beginnings of the original order, and it's quite intriguing that Dumbledore would look to some of the students as charter members. Why has he chosen these eight? Do they have special abilities that the other students don't? Does he want them to recruit their peers?

Because you didn't call the characters by their names in the office scene, I was a tad bit confused about who was who. I know which ones were James, Lily, and Mary McDonald, but who is the long haired boy? Sirius? And who is the blonde Gryffindor--Marlene or Dorcas? Also, who is the boy standing beside Mary? You might've wanted to be ambiguous about these names, and if that was your intention, that's great! However, if it wasn't, I would suggest that you give their names somewhere within the scene. But it isn't a big deal, really! :)

This was a great first chapter! Now I'm off to the next one!


Author's Response: Thanks so much! We will see soon why he's chosen them...

I also did want to make the beginning a bit obscure so people can go back to the beginning and compare characters once they get to know the characters. Believe me, it's a master plan all in my head.

Thank you so much for reviewing both of my chapters!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 734
Submit Report: