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Review:Lululuna says:
Hi! Here for your requested review- I just went ahead and bumped you up my review queue since you were just a little bit late. :)

I think this is a really interesting start! The idea of there being a country off of Ireland with its own monarchy combined with the wizarding world is so original. The combination of modern and archaic is pretty interesting here: like how she has a letter opener but also has an intercom.

I was wondering- is there a significance that she has so many middle names? I was curious at how the names seem quite modern and not historical. Also, if she's Carolyn the seventh, Carolyn isn't a particularly historic name either to have seven generations of it. Just a thought. :)

Carolyn seems like a good character so far. I liked her voice throughout the story, and how she was happy to have a letter from a young child. I'm curious to find out how she will integrate with the wizarding world - her sister being a witch is a unique twist - and how she will fit into canon and meet George.

Since Carolyn being queen of Avalyn is a major theme of her identity, I would like to see more about the island itself: it's geography, it's people, it's foreign policy with the UK and Ireland. I know this is the first chapter and there's lot of time to explore these things, but it's always good to start stories with a firm base. Also, some advice I have would be to put a little more description into the chapter. What does Carolyn look like, besides having blond curls? What does her castle look like? (this may just be because I love castles :P). Of course, it's still early in the story, but if you're looking to go back and edit this chapter these are some things to think about. :)

I love how Carolyn asked if anyone knew about an "organization" called Hogwarts. It was a great and funny way to introduce the idea and show how much of a shock it will be to them all.

Overall, I think you have a great start to an OC and a unique premise to a story with a lot of room for creativity and exploration of the HP-verse. Nice job, and feel free to re-request! :)

Author's Response: Hi! And thanks so much for doing this considering you didn't actually have to! It means a lot! :)

I will look at the names and try and explain why I did that, and I will definitely try and figure out the Carolyn thingy too. Thanks for pointing that out!

I will definitely think about the description points when I do a complete overhaul of this story in December, so thanks for bringing those up (and don't worry, castles *are* pretty awesome).

And thank you! This review was both filled with happy things and CCs (which I love), so I really appreciated this and I will make sure to seriously consider every single thing you pointed out when I revuew and make changes to this story.

Thanks so much!

Lo :)


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