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Review:Rumpelstiltskin says:
Oh hooray! An update!

The imagery was once again magnificent. Several pieces struck me and it's difficult for me to justify only one as my favorite. Let me just pick one at random to obsess over, else you're going to end up with a literary analysis instead of a review :).

Let's go with this one: "The dead woman's name...unpleasant aftertaste." This is a lovely little sentence that paints a vivid picture of how Ettie feels about the situation concerning Swift without coming out and saying it directly. You do this often, which is fantastic. I feel that otherwise the emotions wouldn't feel as strong.

Again I love your word choice. You have this tendency to use sharp sounding words. I believe I have finally realized why this stand out to me so much. It wasn't plainly obvious to see at first, but I reread the two chapter aloud to myself and it was then that it jumped out at me. These terms are creating a rhythmic pattern in your story. It doesn't follow any particular structure that I have seen concerning rhythm. It also gets a bit spotty here and there which leads me to believe that it was unintentional (?). If it was unintentional then it must be just a bit of brilliance associated with your style of writing.

Let me try to point out an example of the pattern so that I don't sound like an insane person (although that may just be a feat of mine that is beyond redemption). "He seemed to flinch...around her." is a good example. The stressed versus unstressed words are lovely.

At any rate, I'm really enjoying this and I cannot wait until the next (and last -_-) chapter!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Rumpel!

Hello! Lovely to see that you're back! ♥ Thank you so much for following this fic; I can't emphasise how much it means to me that you're willing to come back and read and review. And your comments on my writing and language analysis really, really made my day!!

I'm glad that you like my 'showing-not-telling' method of writing; I'm definitely more on the 'showing' side. Sometimes, I wonder if it's too much, if I'm being too unhelpful to the reader, which is why your comment about how vividly you see Ettie's feelings despite me not directly mentioning it is so absolutely gratifying.

Ahahaha, LOVE the way you analyse my word choice, sentence structures and rhythms! This really, really made my day. I have a preference for simple but strong, vivid language, and guess what, I actually do read my sentences out loud time to time. I'm the sort of writer who is attracted to the sounds of words. I'm glad you didn't find this obvious until you read my chapter aloud! THIS. THANK YOU. I sometimes wonder if I should even bother with the detail I put into my sentences, but then I get such a perceptive reader like you, and I think, YES. IT IS WORTH IT. IT'S ALL WORTH IT.

Thank you ♥ Yeah, those rhythms you've detected would be spotty, because I don't think I'd be able to structure every single sentence of this chapter. I don't want to sound too formulated throughout my prose, and also, this chapter is pretty much 5000+ long. It would be a headache. :P

Still, I'm so glad you commented on these! Thank you so much, and thank you again for reading and reviewing! I hope you'll be back for the final chapter - and I hope you'll like, or at the very least, be satisfied with the ending. Which as you can tell, I'm a bit worried about. :P

Thanks!

teh


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