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Review:Okay? Okay. says:
What did I just read...

Okay so your characterizations are REALLY off. I think they could use a bit of work, and honestly, people during the Marauder Era wouldn't talk like that. Better descriptions too. Some of it was kinda funny I guess but could use a LOT of work. The main girl is too queen beeish. I hope you fix it up, this story has potential, just needs tweaking.

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