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Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hi, Elphaba here with your requested review!

I enjoyed this vignette, and think it fits just fine with the series canon. :)

I think you do a good job writing Harry, here. I can definitely imagine him wanting to visit his parents' grave on such a momentous occasion. His pain is certainly understandable, too. I think it also makes sense for him to talk to the graves; he's talked to their spirits with help from the Resurrection stone, so it doesn't seem odd for him to speak aloud to them again, even if he can't see them this time.

One little technical detail: Instead of Harry getting, "an empty grave dug for his fallen godfather," I think he would have just had the memorial stone put up.

Then, this line had me slightly confused because Harry says "miss" twice: "I miss you both, and I miss you all." Did you mean to say something like, "I love you both, and I miss you all?" Otherwise, maybe he would just say, "Happy Halloween, I miss you all."

Although I really like that this story is short and sweet, there is one thing I think you may want to add. That is a specific message from Harry to Sirius. How would Sirius react to Harry's news? Maybe Harry would anticipate Sirius's response and reply to it.

I think you get the wistful tone to this piece just right. Sometimes, trying something different pays off. :) Thanks for sharing!

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.

I am pleased you enjoyed this and think it fits with canon.

I tried my best to write Harry well so I am glad it worked for you. It's great that you can imagine something like this happening and that it made sense to you the way he talked to them.

Thanks for pointing that part about the memorial stone, I'll go back and change =)

Oh oops, I didn't realise that, it was a typo. It was supposed to be "I love you both, and I miss you all." yeah xD

Ah that sounds like a nice idea. I'll incorporate Harry talking to Sirius for sure when I edit.

I am glad you liked it, thanks for your valuable feedback!


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