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Review:patronus_charm says:
I really liked all the references about Helen being a member of the Black family in this chapter. With her vast and varying vocabulary, mentions about vanity and the way she holds this lofty contempt for those perceived to be below it fits well. But then you went and put a spin on it with the way she traverses Egypt with a man for money showing why she had to break away for not being the exact mould of the Black family.

Emile/Mr Cadogan is a curious figure. Iím not entirely sure what to make of him and the way you built him up suggests that you intended him to be like that, and I have a feeling that I wonít know the full truth about him for a while yet. Itís just with his lack of interest in Egypt and its history and the way he needs a guide but acts as if he doesnít need her, itís all very puzzling.

It was an odd feeling to look forward to Moodyís appearances in this chapter but I did. He just seems to be such a grounded character in comparison to Mr Cadogan, because you can clearly see the cause and reason behind his actions and thatís comforting in a way. The only thing Iím a little unsure of at the moment with him is what you intend him and Helen to be. There is this tension there, but I canít somehow see Helen lower herself (in her terms, at least) to marry an American.

Your description of Egypt and all of its artefacts was lovely! I really enjoyed reading them but the way you mixed in human description such as what they were wearing and why was brilliant too. It just added a freshness to it, and then the references to nature and the weather created the perfect balance in terms of description.

Ah, Iím so eager to read on and find out what Emile is actually up to now! Great chapter :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: The one thing Helen can't escape is being a pureblood - it's so ingrained into her system that I don't even think she can contemplate being anything else. That's why she hates herself when she forgets spells or acts like a Muggle - it's going against everything she's ever known. I'm really pleased to hear that you liked the references to her background in this chapter - you've picked out a lot of details that I wasn't sure people would notice. It's fun to include subtle things, and it's not that difficult to do with a first person narrator like Helen. :)

Cadogan is supposed to be incredibly elusive, and I wonder if I didn't go too far with it. XD He doesn't make any sense, but in a way that's why Helen can't walk away - she's curious about him and falls into his web as a result. Moody may come across as more straightforward, but he's really not that different from Cadogan. I can't say anymore on that topic just yet.

Thank you very much for your compliments! I'm glad to hear that the research for this story is paying off - it is exciting to pour over maps and photographs and the history of Egypt, both in ancient times and in the early 20th century. It's almost overwhelming how much one can do with these things in a story.


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