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Review:Cannons says:
Hi here with your requested review!

I think this is a very promising start to a story, as always the first chapter lets the reader decide if they would like to read on.

I liked how you explored the Ravenclaw traits and how she felt her friends would be worried for her because she had got sacked. You wrote the section well in the club where they are quizzing her, there is always one who is overly persistent and won't let it go, even when its uncomfortable.

There are a few things which I feel could be improved, I recommend that you get a beta to read through it and correct it for you and at the beginning you switch from third person to first person so you might want to change that. There were some really good lines in there but there were also lines and phrases that were a bit off. So I recommend getting a beta just to smooth things over and they can explain it to you as well. I think I read that you said that English wasn't your first language so I'm very impressed that you've produced this.

A promising start, keep writing!


Author's Response: Thanks for the review :-)
I'm glad you liked it.
I thought about getting a beta, so yeah, I really should to that. I know I tend switch a little.


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