Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:marauderfan says:
Helllooo there! Here with your review! :)

This was such an intense chapter! I loved the ending and how there's finally hope for Dominique, with the people she loves by her side.

But Delilah! She really is crazy. I had thought there was more to her story, like the werewolf who wrote to Dom had lied or something, so I was a little surprised at how well the evidence fit together. Good thing it did, though - Dom certainly needed that closure!

And I love the way you wrote Delilah's descent into craziness - how she played along in the beginning that she had no idea what they meant, then lost it and divulged everything while planning her escape, and then broke completely when she realised her game was up. But you wrote her reasoning behind it very well - she was just an incredibly power-hungry, jealous, insecure person. She went to great lengths to commit a crime and I'm not sure how she didn't imagine she'd get caught for it, but I guess that happens - she was too wrapped up in a quest for power that she didn't see it.

By the way, you mentioned in one of your responses to my earlier reviews that English is not your native language, so I just wanted to mention how wonderful your writing is. If I were writing in a second language it would not be nearly as impressive as yours!

Anyway, my only CC for you is grammar related - this sentence from Delilah - I think you're not feeling quite fine
That reads kind of oddly to me, and sounds a little unrealistic for dialogue. Only a small change would fix that - maybe something like "I don't think you're feeling well".

Overall, wonderful chapter! I can't believe there are only a couple of chapters left, I have really enjoyed reading this so far, :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you for reading and reviewing.

I am pleased you liked the chapter and the ending as well.

Delilah is crazy yeah. She is power hungry. And well I didn't want to complicate things too much with things not matching up - in fact I wanted all the "evidence" to lead up to this moment.

I am glad you liked the way I wrote Delilah's reactions and actions, and also the reasoning behind what she did. She wasn't a mastermind really, she was just desperate, so she didn't think of the consequences.

Aw it's awesome to know that you think my writing is wonderful despite English not being my native language. I have been learning English in school since I was a kid and then honing my skills at home as well so all those years paid off I guess xD

Thanks for pointing that out. I'll fix it when I edit.

I am glad you are enjoying the story, thanks!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 441
Submit Report: