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Review:academica says:
Hello, I'm here with your requested review :)

First off, kudos for writing about an under-loved ship that I think has a lot of potential. I liked how you could see Cho's transformation throughout the piece, moving from grief to hating Cedric (in a way) to being glad to be close to him again. I also liked how you described her depression like an animal or disease feeding off of her, and how she eventually overcame it and grew stronger.

To be honest, I'm not too sure about the way you used the lyrics here. Because it's French, it was hard for me to figure out how they related without constantly jumping to and from the translation at the bottom. I also have trouble connecting the use of a French song to Cho's life--it seems like it would be more appropriate for Fleur mourning someone than Cho, since Fleur is French and knows the language. I can definitely understand being inspired by a poignant song you hear, but it can be tricky sometimes to translate that to use in a fic. To me, unfortunately, it seemed like the lyrics were just sort of inserted into the fic without really meshing well with the story itself. Now, bear in mind that I'm not a huge fan of songfics anyway and rarely write or read them on my own, so feel free to take my opinion with a grain of salt.

Something else that struck me is that this piece seems a teeny bit bare bones. I think you could add more detail to really show us the depths of how Cho is feeling. In addition, the way you describe her grief feels a little "generic" - that is, I think these feelings could be translated to anyone feeling grief. I would have liked to see more that felt like Cho to me and really built on what we know about her and Cedric and their short relationship. For instance, you could pull in little canon details as part of her memories of Cedric and what she misses about him.

I'm afraid this review is going to come off as being really critical, so hopefully you find it useful. I do want to point out that I loved your ending line - it's a great way of showing that Cho reconciled her changing feelings throughout the story and saw the beauty in her own pain.

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hello, thank you for the review!:)

I'm glad that the transformation and emotions came through. I understand that the language of the song might not add greatly to the story, it does make sense that it should be something about Fleur because its French. But I do appreciate the time you took to read and review, even if it is a songfic:) I think that's a really good idea to add more canon details to flesh out ther relationship, that can definitely help the story. CC is always really helpful, so thank you for all of your advice!

Thanks again
-LumosWeasley :)


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