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Review:Debra20 says:
Hey there! I'm here with the terribly late review request. School started and after a while I completely forgot I had a review thread opened lol. Sorry :(

Okai, so on my thread you asked me to give you my opinion on characterization, flow and the medical diagnosis. Let's get started then, shall we? :D

Characterization: I think you are getting better and better with characterization, even if there are some moments here and there that I am a little uncomfortable with (for example, when Draco startles Hermione at the beginning of the chapter and she almost swears the "f" word - that seems very unlike Hermione). She seems in character overall.

Draco. Well Draco is much like I imagine Draco most of the time, though a lot less brooding than I thought he'd be at this point in time. I imagined him to be sulking more than overtly lashing out at Hermione, especially if we consider the period this story takes place in (if I remember correctly, it's during DH). After the 6th book, Draco loses a lot of his snarkiness after he is introduced into Voldemort's circle. What he's lived isn't easy so it must have changed it. It must have been a rude awakening from his dream like life. I'd like to see Draco more tormented, more brooding and dark, rather than his previous self. But it's completely up to you of course :)

Flow: I think the flow was handled well this chapter. Since not much happened this chapter, the pace you chose was a good choice, slowly taking us through Hermione's eyes to the realization that she's cooped up with Draco in the same house for the next month. I wonder if they'll survive it haha

Medical diagnosis: I am no expert in medicine so I dunno if I'm the best to ask, but to me it sounded ok. Harold seemed very professional and you can always say that he tried to explain what had happened to them in terms they'd understand. You can go back to his speech and insert some pauses when he thinks how best to explain it to them. You know what I mean? That's the perfect getaway if you're not sure how to handle special terms that you don't know much about ;)

Overall it was a good chapter that moved the story forwards. In my eyes, there will always be a little OOC'ness to Draco and Hermione since this is a pairing I can hardly see getting together, but you are taking it slow and that's what matters. Slow but sure ;)

Author's Response: Hi Deb! I am so so sorry its taken me so long to get to these responses, i am only answering them in lots, have been crazy busy. But am here now!

Thank you for coming and reading my story! Lets get on to looking at your review :)

I had thoughts about that, but i really think that the shock would do a lot to her, and it kind of works. I am trying my best to keep their characters in orignal canon, but also have my on little twist on them, so hopefully you think it is working so far!


Glad that you think the flow is working well. I tried my best to spread out the dialogue, without making it too forced and stretched out. I am glad that so far its working!

I do know what you mean. It is hard to work out the information within breaks, so i will go through and try and break it up a wee bit more.

I am glad you think it is good for now. It will always be a bit OOC for some, but I am trying my best to make it a good story with the pairing going slowly, and not hugely cliche.

Thank you for reviewing!!

Grace :D




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