Hey there, here to break the record for fastest review time?!
Ok, so let me say that I don't think I'll be add to the amazing amount of reviews that you have got so far, but I'll give it a go.
You have a very effortless writing style, you make jokes and make the reader feel in on the joke so it becomes sort of an inside joke we share with Ellie..that doesn't make sense does it..oh well I know what I mean. Basically you made me laugh.
So I'm about half way through, her twins just drank from the bottle, and then Potter drinks from the bottle! I mean it's just too much for me, I laughed. out. loud. ( and I mean I'm not even sure if that was a deliberate joke, that's how good you writing style is)
There were other funny bits so far like 'Finnish Fiasco' - 'Magical Flu- the name(sad that her mum dies though, and it's even worse since theres humor there as well) - erm her Dad seems just hilarious - then amongst your humour/sarcasm you've got lines like this which pull at the heart strings - 'My only consolation was that I didn’t see her after she died. It meant that she’d left at peace with the world. '
Just start reading again and I come across this beauty - He grinned. “Only yours. For some reason, it tastes better.” He winked at me. - your killing me.
All this scrolling up and down is annoying but your lines are worth it - “Liking what you see, love?” he drawled. - “You don’t have to play you know,” Potter called, sticking his head back inside to voice his unwanted opinion. “You can just watch,” he added, with a wink and a grin.
- I had ninety-nine b*tchy problems, but being jealous of my brother wasn’t one of them. -
Ok, I'll stop there because I might as well just copy the whole thing out, so basically your effortless humour shines through, I love Albus in this. She can see dead people? that's pretty cool.
Erm what else? Your description was pretty good, I knew what was happening and where they were and everything.
Yeah this hasn't been very helpful has it because I don't have an CC to give to you. Sorry. :P
(P.S - the reason the carton thing got me so much is because I do it to...;) - P.S.S - Don't tell anyone ;) P.S.S.S - this won't be the quickest review ever because it took me so long to write this review. P.S.S.S.S I apologise for my review because I don't think it helped you that much P.S.S.S.S.S you must be really funny in RL )
Author's Response: Hahaha! Congratulations are in order, I believe!
Thank you so much! I changed my writing style halfway through chapter three, so I had to go back and fix the other chapters, so that's why I was really worried about it. I'm glad that I was consistent! I really wanted readers to feel what Ellie was feeling. She feels a little different from everyone around her, and I wanted the readers to feel as if they understood that, and could relate, otherwise her isolation would've been doubly sad!
I loved writing that scene with the orange juice! I was like, how do I show that these are just a couple of adolescent blokes? And then I was like, the best way is to show that they have a complete disregard for glasses!
Oh, thanks so much, once again! I'm totally blushing right now! Yeah, her Dad can be a source of great comedy as well as grief, which shall be fun to explore. And I wanted to write a story where comedy and tragedy lived side by side - I mean, that's what real life is like!
And Albus is just so... Albus, isn't he? ;)
Thanks so much for this fantabulous review! I know the next chapters need some CC, so I'll be sure to re-request when a spot opens up :)
PS: I do it too - shh - don't tell anyone, though!
PPPS: That's okay. I checked in the morning, so to me, you won!
PS: Aw! No! This was very lovely. As much as I love receiving critiques, it's nice to get positive feedback, too!
PS: *blushes* I don't think I'm especially funny, but my friends say that I am - I just hope they mean it in a nice way!