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Review:Violet Gryfindor says:
This chapter turned out really well! It contains a lot of little details that are just wonderful, particularly Mariam's reference to Cedric as "lover boy" (I giggled in spite of myself at that). The description of the owl at the end also stood out - again, it's the level of detail that is impressive. There's something very tangible about its presence - it's not merely there as a messenger, but like the owls in the books, is a real creature. You take very great care with the story and the world in which it takes place.

This carries through into Cedric's melancholy and anger - he does not know how to express it, and thus lashes out at anyone who gets near him. He's so consumed by his grief that he doesn't seem to remember the kiss, nor does he think about the potion - the two things that are foremost in Cho's mind. All he can think of is what the war has done to him and his friends - even when he yells he doesn't realize that he has his voice back. It's fantastic to see that depth of emotion in a story, to have a character not even realize that his body has healed because he's overwhelmed by grief. It's a very realistic portrayal of grief, and while I'm not surprised that you would include this in your story, I still want to say, kudos to you. It's excellent.

The chapter as a whole is very well-written, doing a lot with both character and plot development. It's amazing how much you did in a chapter of 1100 words!

Author's Response: Susan, I'm so terrible for taking forever to respond to your wonderful reviews. I'm sorry! Hopefully I can stay on top of things a little better once I catch up again.

I loved writing Miriam so much. She was so spunky in the face of such dark themes, and I pictured her as this wise older woman who could be a role model for Cho. She's probably witnessed the pattern of a soldier and nurse falling in love several times and chosen to view it with a mixture of admiration and caution.

I wanted to show a contrast between the experiences of Cedric and those of Cho. Cho sees a very limited view--only what comes through the hospital doors, and most of the soldiers who survive their injuries seem to lead a relatively calm life while healing. Cedric, meanwhile, is haunted by his past and his regrets and hasn't told Cho even a fraction of what he's been through. Thus, it's difficult for either of them to understand what the other person is feeling. I'm really glad you liked seeing that and picked up on the contrast.

Thanks again for your lovely review :)

-Amanda


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