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Review:Lululuna says:
Hi! :) Thank you for entering my challenge and giving me this amazing entry!

I'm really glad you got Barty and I think you really got through the theme of the challenge, which was adding an unexpected voice to a canon character and giving them more depth. You really accomplished that here, choosing the last scene of Barty's life, and packing all this emotion and evil into it.

I'm in love with the first line: "you can't even hide the truth from yourself." It's a brilliant manipulation of Veritaserum, and sets the tone for Barty's voice and thoughts right away.

You've also handled Barty's madness really well: how he hates McGonagall for pitying him, how he puts on a mad show for her, his wild fear when he sense the Dementor. Something interesting here is Barty's disconnected sense of self which seems to float about him: he is no longer the Auror Moody which he has posed as for the past year; he is no longer a son, having murdered his father and traded places with his nearly forgotten mother. His identity seems to slip through his fingers, something not quite tangible that is lost to him, as you so eloquently put when he is face to face with the Dementor.

This: "Claws of naked horror stab into his heart, icy talons" is amazing description, beautiful and terrifying writing. I can't imagine what it would be like to meet Dementor, but you capture it in a very poetic and gruesome way here.

The repetition of the idea of freedom and how it changes throughout the peace is very interesting: how he is free to be himself and not Moody again, how he is free to choose his own name and be honoured by Voldy, then finally his last-minute regret at the price his freedom bought and a fleeting realization that perhaps he is not free from his own guilt. The image of his mother being the last thing he saw redeems him a little, or at least makes him pitiable.

This was a really great little snapshot, and you captured the character while giving him more interest and depth really perfectly. Thank you for this! :)

Author's Response: Hi there
Thank you thank you for the challenge, it was great fun writing this :D And thank you for this lovely lovely review!! I've been feeling a little like a ghost on HPFF lately and this made my day and made me feel like I exist on this site again hehe.
Cheerio! Xo


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