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Review:shez says:
LOL Way to leave it at a cliffie
!
So, I suppose I don't have to tell how confused I am right now. It's probably what you wanted, after all haha.


I really like the different magical realms you have intermingling here --and Grace shifting from one to the other. So lemme know if I have this straight--she's a witch, demon slayer, JP's twin , AND has premonitions (that her blind seer friend helps her understand) about the future. In combination with her near-primal nature and inherent lack of social skills (Yes, because it's TOTALLY ok to pick someone up and move them out of the way. Ahh Grace trying to make friends haha), you've woven a very interesting character. That being said, I hope you manage the different elements you've embellished this story with VERY carefully. Oftentimes, in an attempt to create interest, writers will convolute things. (not saying that this is convoluted, of course! But its a trap I see writers fall into waaay too often).

Your language is exquisite and very easy to follow in this chapter so good job! I haven't seen enough of Grace to pick her apart yet, but what I've seen I like! And marauders are fairly in character. One thing I will mention is that James seemed to be TOO calm with the idea of having a twin sister. I get that someone told him but I feel like that detail could be worked in a little better. Still, I'm excited to see how you manage their sibling dynamic :) I have to say, this story has the potential to be seriously awesome ^^ you're not going down the OC-falls-in-love-with-Mainchar route and loveydoveyblahblahblah so I'm really happy about that. I can tell you've spent a lot of time formulating the plot (YAY THERE'S PLOT!) so I hope you continue writing this ;)

So, that's all I have to say right now. Hope that some of it can be of use to you. Feel free to re-request :)

Author's Response: Ah yes, James Potter. He's my arch nemesis as a character at the moment, I'm working on fixing this by writing chapter seven and then I can go back and fine tune his reactions :(.

Uhm, yes that's Grace in a nutshell :). I've spent a lot of time on her character so hopefully it doesn't go awry! She definitely has some social skill issues that will slowly get ironed out through time :).

As it turns out, this story get very complex. I am trying to pepper information throughout the plot so that I don't overwhelm the readers with a ton of information all at once...hopefully that doesn't just create confusion!

Thank you so much for your review!

-Rumpel


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