Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Aphoride says:
Hey there - so sorry for getting to this so late! Life has been so mad recently - I've been running around like a headless chicken, lol. Anyway, I'm here now! ;)

So far, there's not all that much to go on, on the OC route, really. But that's only to be expected since it's a prologue, really, and we haven't seen all that much of her yet.

That said, I really like what you're doing with it so far. I love the idea of someone who's from an unusual background, but not the stereotypical OC background, you know? It's different, and yet similar all the same.

I also like how you set up the scene, with the girl and her situation, and then the witch coming up to her. I love how you imitated - consciously or not - McGonagall watching over Harry, in Animagus form as a cat. Also, I really liked how you haven't told us anything at all about the girl or the witch, or her background - how her situation got like this, how long it's been like this, etc. It adds a lovely element of mystery to the whole thing, you know, and allows us to sympathise with the character before we even really know much about her.

I like the idea of strains of predispositions to certain types of magic - as a whole - running through families. It's kinda like how there are some families where the majority of people are very good at sport, you know? Like families which consistently produce good footballers and things. That being said, super-strong magic is one of my pet peeves and can waiver close to Mary Sue-ism (though only in context, of course). Just something to be aware of, perhaps, while writing ;)

This is a really great start, though! It's mysterious, it's pacy, short and sweet, introduces the main character(s?) but doesn't give much away... all good!

Aph xx

Author's Response: Firstly, I need to tell you how sorry I am in return for taking such a long time to reply to your wonderful reviews. I'm a music teacher and Oct/Nov is when we do our musical theater production, so life has been insane.

Secondly, can I just tell you how great these reviews made me feel? You are so wonderful! I was expecting one and you gave me four amazing reviews! If I could reach through the internet and hug you I would. Thank you so very much!

Now, on to your comments.

Yeah, it's pretty hard to get a sense of my characters from just the prologue. It's really short and I always feel funny asking readers to comment on characterization and such for the prologue, but I don't want readers to start in the middle. *shrugs* Oh well, it is what it is. But I am very glad you liked how it started off just the same.

You know, I didn't think of the image of McGonagall watching over Harry when I wrote this, but now you mention it I totally see it. Is that weird that you can do something and not realize it?

I WAS trying to be mysterious with leaving a lot of information up for speculation, though, so it's nice to know that's working. I want people to get to know my OC gradually, not be overwhelmed by an information dump.

Oh cool! You are one of the few people to comment on the idea of certain magical traits running through families. It totally made sense in my mind, but I always wonder people will be like "hey, you can't do that, it's not in the books!" LOL. And yes, Mary-Sue land is constantly on my mind. I will try very hard to avoid it, but I also feel like I need to write this character the way she is in my head. I just hope I can do both at the same time.

Thanks again for such a wonderful review! It really made me smile!



Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 818
Submit Report: