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Review:Rumpelstiltskin says:
Review tagging from the forums!

This is the first Next Generation story that I have ever read. I've been a tad frightened by this era to be quite honest. I am not disappointed, however!

The imagery that you have created her is hauntingly beautiful. Actually one of my favorite pieces of imagery is the last line of the first paragraph ("The fading light.") The personification was expertly executed and this is particularly what drew my curiosity to the rest of the chapter.

What I often look for in writing is eloquence and sharpness. You have captured both here! I especially loved this brilliant example, "the pristine expanse of plain white." There are many other phrases like this in your story that are well written and words that are very crisp.

The rhythmic pattern pattern of your story (stressed verses unstressed terms) does not follow any typical method that I have seen but is wondrously present. This assists the flow greatly. The particular uniqueness of this struck me as absolute genius (whether it was deliberate or not). The suspense created thusly is just fantastic!

If I were to pick any Next Generation character to read, it would be Teddy Lupin. I am very interested to see where you are going to take him.

At any rate, this was a fantastic start and I am looking forward to seeing more!


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