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Review:CambAngst says:
OK, consider my attention grabbed. ;)

Your opening chapter does a good job of setting up a premise and teasing the reader with just enough details to make me want to come back and see what's going on. Aside from the things you did do, I was also fairly impressed by some of the things you chose not to do. For instance, you didn't beat me over the head with loads of back story about who was in what house at Hogwarts and what they're doing with their life these days. When an author dumps all that information into the first chapter of a story without any particular context, I never remember it anyway. You didn't treat me like I've never read the books and need to be told who everyone is, either. You kept your introductory chapter tight and relevant and I like that.

Your writing was well done. Everything flowed nicely and I didn't see any typos or grammatical problems. Sometimes Lily's internal monologue drifted a bit farther into American teenager-speak than I usually like, but it wasn't egregious.

It was an honor and a pleasure to be your first review for this. If you keep up the good work, this will be a really pleasant read. Nice job!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for stopping by!

I'm so glad you enjoyed the prologue and it grabbed your attention. I know when I read, the first few chapters are always key and if they don't pull me in, I'll probably stop reading. It's good to know that that wasn't the case for you!

Thank you! I'll do my best on the American teen-speak--I think giving a character a voice apart from my own is one of the things I struggle with in my writing. Once I get a few more chapters up, I'm hoping to find a beta reader who can maybe help me out on that!

Again, thank you so much! I'm so grateful for your opinion on this. Happy reading and writing :)


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